Great Couples Counseling in Quartz Hill, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Do you find your having the same argument over and over again? Are you frustrated because your partner doesn't listen to you? Maybe you have drifted apart. If you feel rejected or unloved, there may be a break down in your communication. I help couples improve their communication skills so that they feel listened to, understood, loved, wanted, and desired. If you want to feel better in your current relationship or want to find a good relationship, I can help.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Couples therapy lights me up! Not feeling heard, understood, valued or supported? Toxic conflict? Withdrawing? Longing for help? Utilizing evidence-based modalities such as EFT & powerful tools from PACT, NVC, IFS & CBT, I help couples create a secure bond, a safe haven from life's challenges, rather than an added burden. You'll learn to trust, support, hear & "be there" for each other. Discover attachment styles, the brain & nervous system, survival parts and trauma that may be hurting your relationship. Develop critical self-awareness, accountabiity & WE instead of just ME mentality. Turn towards each other instead of away with authenticity, compassion, attunement & understanding.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

When I conduct couple therapy, I respect each of the parties, listen to each one and balance my time and attention between you. One of the hardest things I will tell couples from the beginning session is that If you, as a couple, are thinking of separating, I encourage you to continue therapy for a period anyway. What you learn about yourself in a relationship, what you resolve for yourself will mean better communication and better understanding for you in this or any other relationship.

You may be experiencing difficulties in your relationship which are causing you to evaluate whether you want to continue it, such as a breach of trust, infidelity, addiction, or abuse. Or maybe you feel that you and your partner are living like roommates and you are longing for a more intimate and loving connection. These are common reasons why couples seek therapy. As your therapist, I will make your partnership my number one priority, providing a fair, objective, supportive, and non-judgmental environment. A successful relationship does not hinge on who is right, but on how the couple navigates and recovers from ruptures and repairs within the relationship.

Most of my work is with couples who struggle with communication, financial, parenting, and blended family issues. My focus is on providing counseling from a biblical perspective and I've found that the extent to which couples are able to apply those principles in their marriage truly determines how well they do in therapy. Although I specialize in couples work, I also work with individual clients in the areas of anxiety, depression, stress, and spiritual issues.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.