Great Couples Counseling in Nevada City, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Nothing means more to you than your relationship with your partner. It's why it hurts so much when you try to get close and they shut down or find some other way to pull away. Or maybe you feel suffocated, criticized, and not enough because it feels like too much is wanted from you. You're not alone. I get how important this person is to you, and want to help you to recognize your stuck push/pull pattern so that you can feel satisfied and understood in your relationship. This is also true when there are more serious problems, like affairs or addictions. As you learn what motivates you as well as your partner, you can again renew the bond of this most important relationship.

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

I am a Certified Gottman Therapist and use the world famous, clinically proven Gottman method in my work with you. The Gottman Method is backed by 40 years of research establishing what makes marriage succeed or fail. I bring a deep, abiding passion to helping you and your partner get back to the love that you have for each other. Using the Sound Marital House to asses your relationship strengths and weaknesses, according to the research, I customize our work together, focussing on the areas you need help and education with to restore trust, intimacy & friendship. Most people contact me for painful fighting that creates emotional and sexual distance. Learn tools to restore your relationship!

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.