Great Couples Counseling in Rancho Palos Verdes, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Do you feel like your relationship is in a rut? Are you struggling to intimately connect with your partner? Over the course of my 30 years as a psychotherapist, I have helped many couples build deeper emotional connections and stronger communication through Imago Relationship Therapy and Safe Conversations. Through couples counseling, you can heal and strengthen your bond learning to communicate more effectively and honestly with your partner. You can learn to fully express your needs and get what you truly desire out of your relationship.

Over the years, the couples change. The spark, the feeling you have around each other--it changes. Every couple is different, but simply put, I help couples experience more connection and meaning in their relationships. Together with your partner I will help you navigate conflict, communicate in a deeper way, build connection (emotionally, spiritually, and sexually). I work with the couples ranging from never having been in therapist's office to couples who have "done couples therapy before", wherever you find yourselves--I'm here to help. Contact me today and let's see how we can get you and your relationship to a better place.

All relationships take work and effort, however that doesn't mean a relationship should only feel like work. Having different likes, viewpoints and drives doesn't necessarily equal incompatibility. Communication and conflict resolution skills are key to a successful relationship. In my work with couples, I engage with each partner as a unique person, however the relationship as a whole is my priority.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Is this you? All we do is fight! It seems like we never hear each other and neither of us listens anymore! It is so frustrating I do not want to come home and try. I have been successfully helping couples to develop the tools necessary to communicate effectively for more than 20 years. Having disagreements is not unusual. Learning how to resolve disagreements is a key element to healthy relationships. Conflict resolution is about learning to fight fairly by listening in an atmosphere of Respect, Trust, Safety and love and not placing my desire to be right over the relationship.

Couples therapy is about breaking painful cycles and rediscovering connection. Many couples come to me feeling stuck in the same arguments, exhausted by disconnection, or longing to feel like true partners again. I help couples identify hidden patterns, improve communication, and smooth out subtle misunderstandings that erode trust. With a direct but compassionate approach, I provide tools to rebuild closeness and strengthen teamwork. The goal is not blame, but clarity and connection—so couples leave therapy with greater trust, intimacy, and lasting calm in their relationship.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Relationships are an area where young adults can struggle. Wanting to create lasting bonds, they don't always think about who is a good match for them, given their family values, and plans for their life. Past failed relationships can also leave sensitive young adults hesitant to open their hearts and try to find love again. I help sensitive young adults discover what it takes to create the loving relationship they've always dreamed of.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

Many couples present in distress with a strong desire to enhance their relationships. I like to work with communication styles as well as explore some old patterns of relating that may have their history in early childhood experiences with their own families. Being able to identify these old patterns of relating to a significant other can help couples to understand why they bring these old patterns into their current relationship. After these patterns are identified, new ways of relating and communicating are explored and practiced. Listening skills and acceptance are important areas of exploration throughout therapy as well. Couples find new & satisfying ways of relating with each other.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Therapy offers a supportive environment where you can communicate in a safe way... learn to calm down, listen and validate the other person... become more aware of each other's over-reactions and vulnerabilities... understand each other's needs... clarify commonalities and differences in your relationship goals... negotiate, accept and move on to a better emotional state. By understanding and empathizing with both of you, I can provide you with insights, exercises and concrete skills to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship... or find the courage to end what cannot be repaired.

How do you rate your partner? Do you just KNOW your relationship could be better? With Kevin Bergen, you'll find a specialist who can get you over your hurdles to relationship bliss. Are you tired of arguing? Is trust a problem now? Has one of you checked out of the relationship? Feeling alone or more like roommates? Kevin understands what you're feeling. He understands each of you equally, he'll affirm you when your partner is off track, and kick your butt when it's you who's out of line. If you want understanding and honesty, call Kevin for your couple's needs.