Family Counseling Services in Charter Oak, CA.

Every family has some sort of dysfunction since individuals are not perfect. I have worked for over ten years with youth and their families. I believe family therapy is essential when working with youth since children and adolescents have limited insight and need structure, guidance, and discipline from parents/caregivers. I begin the initial session meeting with the parents/caregivers to identify and discuss problems and confidentiality. I then meet with the youth/children with the parents to work on agreed treatment goals. The ultimate goal of family therapy is to increase open and respectful communication and improve parent/child relationships.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist, my education, training, and experience has had an emphasis on the family system. When working with families, a focus on the structure of the family, roles, rules, boundaries, and communication are areas included in our work together. Families of origin, extended families, and blended families can participate in family therapy and I find it beneficial when we can include all involved so everyone has a voice.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Family therapy sessions aim to strengthen all members of the family so they can work out problems together. Often, if one family member is identified as having an illness, the cause can be traced back to a larger family problem. If the person with the illness is treated while the rest of the family does not change, then the symptoms will persist. Family therapy breaks these cycles by teaching everyone to better interact with one another.

Family Therapy is essential when a family is unbalanced and in need of guidance on how to become a family unit with a healthier structure. Working with a therapist you will be able to validate each family members desires, discuss family goals and improve communication skills to continue using even after therapy ends. Family therapy is not only essential to the family unit but for each individual to be able to feel important and included in family decisions.

Many of our struggles are not just individually focused; they are shaped by and affect the family system around us. I have a passion for helping family relationships heal in places where they are broken, and thrive in places that are stagnant. I especially love journeying with parents and their children, strengthening bonds and decreasing family conflict. My training has predominantly been in family psychology, and I love to watch families transform together -- as individuals and as whole units.

Family therapy is the treatment of more than one member of a family at the same session, based on the idea that problems going on within the family can best be understood and corrected by observing the interaction of family members and identifying methods for improving their interrelationships. The behaviors of one member of the family affects the emotions, perceptions and behaviors of another member of the family. They are intertwined as something larger than themselves. Together, I will teach you a variety of tools that will help your family's interaction. For example, through reframing, we can often turn a negative experience into a positive one. Call me for a phone consultation to determine when we can meet to discuss your family issues.

In today’s culture, having children derived from more than one relationship is common. Divorce and remarriage can lead to a complex view of what is family. With these complexities come pressure, confusion, frustration, anxiety, and depression. These emotions can be experienced by any part of the family; the children, the father(s), or the mother(s) or even with extended family like the grandparents. Often these emotions are advanced as the lines of connection and boundaries are blurred or misunderstood. Counseling can help you to discover the importance of boundaries, understand the need for healthy relationships, and find balance.

When I work with the family, the approach is often related to understanding the quality of parenting and the quality of attachment to the children. I will help each family member understand their role within the family responsibilities. We will discuss and identify those roles, and the expectations. We will develop ways for you to better cope and manage painful situations. We will work together to improve communication during difficult times. We will work at redirecting negative thinking in a positive direction.

I offer family therapy for families who have young children and/or adolescents. This is a speciality! I have three therapists who have different specialtes with family therapy! One is a teen and teen parenting specialists, another specializes in families with young children and another specializes in difficult families, families and trauma and another still with single parent families or blended families (families coming together with other families). I specifically work with families and parents of teens and alterative families (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families - either parents are GLBT or families who have a GLBT child). Call me and one of us will be the perfect match!

When communication inside a family breaks down, people slip into fixed roles and stop saying what they truly feel, often to keep the peace. Over time that silence breeds distance and resentment. In our work, we slow things down so each member can actually be understood, while paying attention to the deeper currents underneath the friction — the unspoken expectations, old hurts, and recurring scripts that drive conflict on every side. As those come to light, family members begin to hear one another differently, and situations that felt stuck start to move. I hold space for everyone fairly, without judgment. I'm confident we can rebuild trust and care in your family.

As someone trained in family therapy, I see each family member as part of a team. Sometimes, one member is in pain and acting out. The whole family will then feel the effect. I love my work with families to help them get unstuck and see the growth. For the children / teens, family counseling can help sort through the acting out (or acting in sometimes) and help them more appropriately express their needs and wants. I can help!

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161