Grief and Loss Counseling in Commerce, CA.

It's hard to know what to do when we're grieving. Everyone's experience is different and often times that can leave a person feeling alone, even when they have supportive people around them. I often find with grief there's a rollercoaster of emotions happening. The good news is, you don't have to go it alone. Together we will process your grief so real healing can occur. If you're tired of going it alone, or struggling to know how to talk about it--I'm here, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Loss can take different forms, and going through loss is one of life's biggest challenges. I understand this and believe it is essential for those going through a loss to talk about it, feel it, and grieve it. In time, healing will occur but time itself does not heal. I will provide a safe place for you to explore how your loss affects your life and help you to use the resources, time, and tools necessary to not only get through it -- but grow through it -- and survive.

Grieving is a complex process. There is no right or wrong, ideal or non-ideal formulaic process to grieving. Grief is personal and varies from person to person. Allowing oneself to grief, while not loosing perspective on life is a difficult process and often requires assistance. This is where I can be of help. I will listen and provide guidance during the process of grief.

Grief & loss is often felt with the death of a loved one. It can also be experienced from the loss of a relationship, your health, your job, or your home. The grieving process can be complicated. You may love someone who suffers from a significant memory loss due to Alzheimer’s, stroke or a traumatic brain injury. You may feel guilty for grieving the loss of the person you knew before the illness because you feel you should be grateful he/she is still alive. As a person loses their memory, an important part of who they are gets lost. It is appropriate for this grieving process to begin before death. I would love to support you through whatever loss you are currently experiencing.

Grief is hard. Grief is natural. Animals grieve. Grief is something we feel deep in our bodies and can be disorienting and destabilizing. Grief brings up questions about who we are, the world, the existence or goodness of God, and purpose and futility of life. Dealing with grief, especially when the loss is traumatic and unexpected, requires a slow and tender space to allow the grief to move through our body and to settle in our hearts with warmth and memory. I am here to help you grieve the loss of your loved one, experience, health , future or even your beloved pet. .

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

Everyone grieves in their own way. You shouldn't feel you are out-of-control because you grieve in unexpected ways or for a longer peroid. Cultural and religious differences in grieving exist which are perfectly acceptible. A therapist must be sensitive to these issues. Grief is said to involve denial, anger, bargaining, deperession and acceptance. We will monitor your reactions to validate those feelings in session. Unhealthy reactions to loss do occur; self-medicating, and isolating oneslef for long periods, experiencing full-blown depression -- these behaviors, can prove detrimental. We will monitor your behaviors and mood changes and deal with negative conditions, should they occur.

Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross' model of grief with the 5 stages. While this is helpful information, this model does not fit everyone. I practice from the Winslade and Hedtke model of grief which practices "Remembering". I find that using this model or this model in conjunction with the 5 stage grief model is helpful to helping clients explore loss and grief in finding a pathway forward that honors their own experiences.

It is not a coincidence that losing a loved one feels like losing part of ourselves: I believe that is exactly what is happening. The people (or animals) that are closest to us help to make us the people we are. Whether through the end of a relationship, death, or moving away, the loss of someone dear to us presents a profound shift in our own life story, like a sudden storm on a calm sea. How do we navigate that? Do we sail on? Change direction? How do we even know where to begin?

Gentleness and patience are the key words for those in the process of grief and loss. When working with those who have lost a loved one, whether that be a close family member or a beloved animal companion, gentleness, empathy, and patience are of utmost importance. When working with clients who are experiencing loss. I provide special space for silence. The profound experience of loss is unique to each individual and requires space for the pain of the loss to emerge and careful regard for the mulit-dimensional experience of the empty space left behind. We will honor the healing process while simultaneously creating opportunity for transition to hope in a new season of emergent life.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

Confronting the pain of loss may feel too intense, but counseling can bring relief. How? Talking about your sadness, regrets, guilt, anger, etc., will help you release thoughts and feelings… slowly accept how the loss impacts your life… give the lost loved one a new place in your heart... and eventually adjust to your changed life and often-new self. You can re-discover the joy of life without forgetting what you have lost.