Great Couples Counseling in Carpentersville, IL. Therapy to heal relationships.

The joys, the disappointments, and the challenges of relationships are the heart of most therapy issues, The depression or anxiety we feel, the self-esteem we may have lost, the bad habits that have replaced what was genuine in our lives, the stresses that erode the wholeness of our families. William Edleman offers effective solutions to strengthen bonds of love and intimacy, mend shattered marriages, and add new tenderness to maturing relationships.

I use a systems approach to couples and family therapy and often explore the communication patterns, roles, and rules of the couple or family. I help couples examine the interactions and/or dynamics of the relationship that are working and the patterns and/or interactions that are not. As opposed to continuing to blame his/her partner, I ask individuals to assess his/her part of the difficulties in the relationship and help them identify areas that he/she can work on to improve their relationship. Ultimately, the only thing one has control over is his/her own behavior or his/her part of the problem in the relationship.

Couples counseling can be scary, not knowing what to expect. I take the time to make sure that each person feels understood. Often this is what people want the most in order to feel resolve issues and feel closer. Secondly, people want to stay calm but do not always know how. Thirdly, most prefer creative proposals to solve problems versus debates. Having a communication coach, and an understanding of how your past affects the present can make the difference. We also provide premarital assessments and counseling.

Is your relationship ready for a tune up? Being married and raising 4 children, I know it's hard to find time for "us" during the parent rearing years, let alone if the relationship is struggling. Change can happen even if it's just by one person! I promise! Give me a jingle to see if couples counseling is right for you. Sometimes the things we can easily see are not the root cause of relationship stress. I can help you identify where the stress is coming from, and live a more fulfilling life!

I recognize that each couple is unique, in their approach to life and to each other. I would focus on their strengths, especially as work on their problematic areas began. I encourage open communication but discourage name calling; I also encourage the use of "I feel" statements. I would be interested in their individual life histories in that the baggage we bring to relationships cannot be removed, but responses to behavior can be altered. And sometimes awareness of why an individual acts and/or feels a certain way can be quite helpful.

Many kinds of couples find their way to counseling with me. I see married couples, couples with step and blended families, new and old couples, co-habiting couples, bisexual and gay couples, swinging couples, and premarital couples. I enjoy working with the interplay between partners. Most clients come in to better their communications and lessen specific conflict s around decisions and patterns of behavior. Many come in to struggle about separation, divorce and infidelity. Couples who see me usually understand their personal issues more fully and know more about their partner then before counseling. They tend to feel more connected, warm and more respectful of one another.

I enjoy working with couples whether whether married or not. I enjoy the dynamic of interpersonal relationship and work well with couples in improving communication and conflict resolution. Another value for me when working with couples is to help them enjoy each other and their relationship more including having fun, connectedness, and learning to celebrate the way each is wired differently.

The greatest issue with couples therapy is that most couples wait too long to seek it out. So instead of reconnecting a cart and horse that were in the same location, time now has them in different counties - sometimes different states! The challenge with couples right out of the gate is identifying the depth of the disconnect. Next is boundary setting as I'm a firm believer, no couple can gain a thing from fighting with each other in my office! My job is not to referee. My job is to help them identify what's broken in their relationship and then teach them how to fix it. Quite simply, this journey is about trust, communication and the willingness to make compromise. I'm the tour guide.

Accepting and celebrating the differences that make up a couple can bring joy to any relationship. Validating emotions and not having to understand them reduces the amount of fighting that will take place. Watching for areas of stonewalling, contempt, defensiveness and criticism will allow communication to continue and not shut someone down or up. Learning how to repair a relationship on a daily bases will keep it on the road for many years.

What are the barriers to your individual and shared experience of life? What are the factors that can best aid you in achieving your desire for a harmonious union in your relationship. Frequently communication is a starting point that reflects individual challenges in effectively addressing emotional needs, forms of co-dependency, and long-standing ineffective habits. Working from treatment methods informed by the treatment theories of John Gottman, I seek to help clients learn to speak and interact in ways that reflect their vision for the relationship and not the unexamined habits of the past.

I utilize and implement aspects of the Gottman approach to helping couples heal. I assist each person in the couple in helping them recognize how they communicate with and impact the other, and how some communication patterns are ineffective. I assist couples in finding effective communication strategies, healthy interaction and intimacy patterns, while building trust and respect for one another.

Many issues bring a couple to seek counseling such as communication issues, cheating/trust issues, constantly fighting, wanting to improve whats already good, and many more. My approach includes working with both of you to help you learn new ideas and skills to improve your relationship. My goal is not to take sides but instead to help each of you understand your partners perspective even if you don't agree with it.

Communication barriers and conflict are present in all relationships and it is most important to work through these issues together and in a way that supports growth and fosters love in relationships. In therapy I can provide techniques and a space for you to practice utilizing more effective ways to communicate that allows both people to feel heard and understood. I am available to help you work through conflicts and relationships goals in a safe space together.