Great Couples Counseling in University Park, IL. Therapy to heal relationships.

There are many different types of couples with whom I work - Traditional, Re-Married After Being Widowed, Step-Families, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender. Each couple and each relationship is special and unique. Therefore, the strategies we use to improve, change or dissolve/uncouple the relationship will be distinct for each pair of partners and will be based on the partners' goals.

Couples work is challenging but I enjoy it. I like to help people improve how they relate to each other; communicate better; work through conflicts; and connect on a deeper level. I'm also very non-judgmental and help couples work through complicated issues they sometimes have a hard time finding a therapist for such as exploring sexual boundaries or non-traditional relationship issues. Unfortunately - sometimes it's also about ending a relationship and using the therapist to help navigate a "friendly divorce" rather than an acrimonious one.

Infidelity. Communication. Past emotional injury. Criticism and Defensiveness. These issues are by far the most common issues in couples across demographics and locations. Yet, no two couples are the same. Each relationship interacts, relates and communicates in different ways; and each couple will heal differently. In addition, couples from the LGBTQIA, poly/nonmonogamy & kink community often face additional societal or family-related challenges that often impact the relationship. By reconnecting you emotionally, we'll work as a team to improve your communication, heal past injuries, revitalize intimacy, rebuild trust and create new pathways of love & acceptance.

Many kinds of couples find their way to counseling with me. I see married couples, couples with step and blended families, new and old couples, co-habiting couples, bisexual and gay couples, swinging couples, and premarital couples. I enjoy working with the interplay between partners. Most clients come in to better their communications and lessen specific conflict s around decisions and patterns of behavior. Many come in to struggle about separation, divorce and infidelity. Couples who see me usually understand their personal issues more fully and know more about their partner then before counseling. They tend to feel more connected, warm and more respectful of one another.

I utilize and implement aspects of the Gottman approach to helping couples heal. I assist each person in the couple in helping them recognize how they communicate with and impact the other, and how some communication patterns are ineffective. I assist couples in finding effective communication strategies, healthy interaction and intimacy patterns, while building trust and respect for one another.

Most therapists are scared of providing couples counseling because it is difficult remaining unbiased towards two people who are in the throes of high conflict. However, I love it and it is my favorite type of counseling to provide. In my experience I have found most couples get caught up in the details of life and begin fighting to be right instead of fighting for each other. Instead of focusing on what they need to hear they become consumed over how their partner has wronged them. I focus on restoring reconciling the relationship to a place that is mutually beneficial for each partner using evidence based interventions from CBT, The Gottman Method, Bowen Family Systems, and ACT.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I recognize that each couple is unique, in their approach to life and to each other. I would focus on their strengths, especially as work on their problematic areas began. I encourage open communication but discourage name calling; I also encourage the use of "I feel" statements. I would be interested in their individual life histories in that the baggage we bring to relationships cannot be removed, but responses to behavior can be altered. And sometimes awareness of why an individual acts and/or feels a certain way can be quite helpful.

Communication barriers and conflict are present in all relationships and it is most important to work through these issues together and in a way that supports growth and fosters love in relationships. In therapy I can provide techniques and a space for you to practice utilizing more effective ways to communicate that allows both people to feel heard and understood. I am available to help you work through conflicts and relationships goals in a safe space together.

I work with couples at every stage of their relationship—whether you're just beginning, feeling distant, or navigating complex seasons of change. Together, we’ll create a safe space to slow down, truly hear one another, and uncover the deeper patterns that keep you stuck. With care and curiosity, we’ll explore the roots of disconnection and gently build new ways of relating rooted in understanding, emotional safety, and trust.

Our primary focus on couple counseling is addressing conflict resolution strategies and understanding the root of the conflict to get the best approach to resolve the conflict. Our strategy is improving communication skills and deepening the relationship and interactions between partners by exploring each other’s perspectives, needs and emotions. We provide tools for enhancing interaction and managing conflicts effectively.

Couples counseling can be beneficial to any couple in a committed relationship. If both partners are willing to participate, counseling can be effective regardless of sexual orientation, age, race or length of time spent together. Couples will benefit from tracking progress as it helps to promote emotional awareness, communication, and healthy changes in behavior. Couples counseling can benefit clients dealing with trust issues, financial burdens, resentment/unresolved issues, infidelity, transition phases and countless other challenges effecting the relationship.

Many issues bring a couple to seek counseling such as communication issues, cheating/trust issues, constantly fighting, wanting to improve whats already good, and many more. My approach includes working with both of you to help you learn new ideas and skills to improve your relationship. My goal is not to take sides but instead to help each of you understand your partners perspective even if you don't agree with it.