Grief and Loss Counseling in Scaggsville, MD.

Our society doesn't always do such a great job understanding grief and loss...well-meaning friends and family just want you to "move on" and "be okay". When I work with clients around grief and loss, I try to educate them on the wave-like quality of grief; that it comes in waves, and ebbs and flows. Just because it comes back occasionally doesn't mean you're not healing - it takes time, patience and understanding, but you can heal.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

When someone matters to us it is as if there are hollow tubes that are connected to our hearts. Traversing these tubes are our needs. The more important the person is to us the more tubes there are that connect our hearts. When we loose someone it is as if the tubes are axed off at the other end; our needs still reach out but now there is no one there to meet them, and that is painful. Grief work consists of plucking out these tubes, one-by-one, from our heart. It takes both time (e.g., across seasons, special occasions, memories) and the avoidance of practices that don't work (e.g., trying to tape the tubes onto someone else, getting drunk). I've helped many with this so feel free to call.

Working with a grieving person is deep and delicate work, as all the other losses prior to the present one arise. There is a non-linear process that takes time, and the willingness to honor the grieving process. In addition to talk therapy, I often use Brainspotting (https://brainspotting.pro/) or Biofield tuning (https://biofieldtuning.com/) to help the person release the emotions from the body. Ultimately, grieving is about acceptance and love.

Handling loss sometimes feels impossible. Learning to live without the lost loved one oftentimes leads to feelings of hopelessness and fear of the unknown. I work with my clients to celebrate the ones we have lost as well as find ways to continue. I make sure that we don't go too fast in trying to "get over" the pain of loss. It's important to both celebrate our loved ones while we learn to move on without them.

Suffering a loss of a loved one can be devastating. You do not have to do it alone. Studies show that when one has a strong support team this can greatly help in their grieving process. I will work with you (and your family- if you so chose) to understand the grieving process, the emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects to help you get through this most difficult time.

Learning how to healthily grieve is foundational to experiencing peace in the midst of a broken world. We all experience various forms of loss, from the "little" disappointments that we don't even consciously notice, to the catastrophic losses that feel as though they will drown us. We are relational beings who are meant to grieve and work through all of these in the context of relationships. As one who is no stranger to loss, I know how scared we can be to face our grief and loss. And I know the great peace and strength that comes through doing so. I would be honored to guide and walk with you in your grief journey, helping you to eventually find new life on the other side of your loss.

Grief can affect our actions, emotions, thoughts, body, and faith. These changes can be overwhelming and you may have a lot of questions about the future. People cope with loss in different ways. One of the most important ways, is having support from others. Our counselors have training and experience in grief that can provide support and help you to learn to live well despite your loss. We invite you to contact our office to schedule an appointment with our grief specialist.

As much as any of us might wish grief and loss weren't a part of life, if we can integrate them into who you become, we really do grow to a better version of ourselves. The pain of grief isn't something to "get over," and the messages we sometimes get from others to do it can lead to withdrawal, more pain, and more feelings of loss. Working through your grief isn't about "closure" -- trying to close the door on your sadness and loss doesn't serve you. But with support, you can find your way forward to growth, joy, and a fuller life.

Grief and loss can require therapy because they frequently involve trauma--death, divorce, moves, job losses. They lead to a feeling of loss-of-control in many areas of life, even when the control you had is actually still there. In therapy, we work through the loss and accompanying grief, and find ways to express your feelings while still recognizing the trauma--and the reasons for the loss. We create coping mechanisms and turn negative ideas into positive ones.