Grief and Loss Counseling in Columbus, MN.

Grief is normal, exquisitely painful, and seriously lonely. My earliest therapy experience was as a Hospice Grief Counselor for four years. In those formative years, I learned the core issues that hamper our grief, the practices that make grief more tolerable, and the practiced patience necessary to bring comfort to those suffering sudden and protracted loss. I won't rush you. I'll normalize your pain and I'll nudge you gently toward practices that help.

Grief is a process that is different for everyone. It is a journey and it does take time. I want to hear your story. I want to hear about the person or focus of your loss. Eventually the hope is that you will get to the point where, even though you can't forget the pain, eventually it has less of an impact on your day-to-day life. Just being able to be heard and understood can be helpful. Rituals of closure can also help. You don't have to go through your grief alone. I do in-office and online counseling. You can self-register and self-schedule and mnonlinecounseling.com.

People who work with me on grief and loss will benefit from my person-centered and non-pathologizing approach. When we loose someone or something that has deep meaning in our lives, it is only natural that our lives are disrupted. I provide people with the support, time and space they need to move through grief and loss at a pace that is right for them.

Grief is sometimes a lonely journey. Each person reacts to loss in their own way and on their own time schedule. I approach psychotherapy for grief and loss as an opportunity to learn about the cycle of grief. I want to learn more about you and where you are at in the process. Similarly, I try to give practical tips for dealing with sad moments while supporting you through the process.

In grieving a loss of a loved one it is okay to not experience all of the 5 stages of grief and/or to experience the 5 stages in a specific order. Grief and loss can be complex and it is the job of a therapist to meet you where you are in the process and to support you in processing thoughts and feelings related to the loss as well as making new life adjustments.

Are you asking: What is the right way to grieve? How do I help my children cope with losing someone while I am grieving? How do I work through my guilty feelings surrounding this death? Why am I sad about losing someone who hurt me? Why am I not sad? Will this pain ever get better? There is no right way to grieve. There may be healthier ways for you to grieve that will help you move through the intense feelings. Often, it is most important to make time to remember the good times, to process the painful memories connected with that person and to reconnect with life. I specialize in providing individual, couple or family grief counseling to adolescents, adults, veterans, and first responders.

Have people told you that you need to "move on", "get over it" or "they are in a better place"? Grief is a complicated issue and healing can take some time. We will work together to honor your personal journey. For many their goal is to work toward resolution of the loss so that the feelings of pain are lessened and the memories of the lost loved one are held dear. Each individual is unique and our work together will be based on your personal life story. If there is trauma involved in the loss Connie Studer, MA, LMFT is skilled in trauma resolution.

Grief is a reaction to loss, and it can be intensely painful and overwhelming, often involving complex feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, hopelessness, and longing. Grieving is a process and it takes time, even though well-meaning friends and family may grow impatient and suggest you “get over it” or “move on.” It is a process of learning how to live in a world that has changed in fundamental ways, whether due to the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, moving or losing a job, or countless other reasons. As a therapist, I can help you bear and understand the painful feelings that keep company with grief, and, over time, come to find meaning in a changed world despite your losses.

Sorrow can immobilize life. It binds our hearts, hands and feet and although we may try desperately to ignore it, grief hangs like a heavy wet cloak. Wanting to toss this heavy cloak of loss aside, the idea of welcoming sorrow seems out of the question. Yet the only way to lighten its burden is to dive into its mystery and try to understand it. When we sing our sorrows we give them wings. We find, as the poet Wendell Berry says, “That the dark, too, blooms and sings.” Neither ignoring sorrow, nor dwelling in its seductive grasp will make it go away. In working with clients who are dealing with loss, we start by giving it the type of attention it deserves so we can send it on its way.

I work a great deal with trauma issues. I consider trauma a loss. I offer EMDR therapy for trauma and loss issues and trauma for veterans. Patients who have suffered for years from anxiety or distressing memories, nightmares, insomnia, abuse or other traumatic events can now gain relief from a therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). Research shows that EMDR is rapid, safe and effective. EMDR does not involve the use of drugs or hypnosis. It is a simple, non-invasive patient-therapist collaboration in which healing can happen effectively. Many patients who have made slow progress in the past benefit greatly with EMDR.

The only way I know to help someone experience grief and loss is to create a safe place for them to feel their emotions and help them eventually make sense of their sorrow. I use empathy, compassion and a non-judgmental approach to hold your pain when sometimes the burden is too heavy. My particular specialty is grief and loss associated with reproductive concerns and I have a certificate in Maternal Mental Health from Postpartum Support International.

Grieving is different than depression! At times we may not be able to distinguish between the two. Grieving is a very individual process. We all do it differently. It can result from the death of someone significant in our lives, but also from other events too. For example, meeting a long-term goal, divorce, the loss of physical health & functioning, loss of a job, or after a traumatic experience. To grieve effectively any of us need support and encouragement to face the needs and painful feelings that we often would prefer to avoid. I find that providing a warm, safe environment and supportive guidance allows my clients to feel what they need to feel in order to integrate painful losses.

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than emotional pain.

The goal in my approach to grief counseling is to help my clients to accept the loss by getting them to talk and allow themselves to feel what they are feeling. I will help you work through the grief instead of suppressing or masking it. Getting you to express your feelings related to the lose and help you identify the categories of your emotions. You will learn to be able to separate emotionally from the lose and work towards moving forward with a more positive outlook on the future.

Whether your loss is sudden and clear or chronic and ambiguous you will experience grief. Grief is a normal response but it seems to have a mind of its own and can be completely overwhelming. Yet you must go on with your life somehow. The goal of grief counseling is not to get over it, but to help you build resilience and strength, find a new sense of meaning, and to grow forward in your own way. I will walk with you through this valley and support you in finding the path to recovery.