Anger Management and Counseling in River Vale, NJ.

Anger tends to get labelled negatively in our culture, often being described as a "negative emotion", or seen as something dangerous or to be denied. Yet the truth is, like all emotions, anger plays a vital role in our psychological system. It serves as a warning that something important to us feels threatened. It can motivate us to take action to correct something negative that is happening. Prevalent negative attitudes about anger contribute to many people getting insufficient practice in identifying and communicating about anger effectively. At my Pleasantville office I provide individual, family and couples counseling for issues related to anger management in adults and children.

The benefit of my approach is that instead of getting angry you will learn how to think and react creatively so you are better able to find a way to prevail in the long run. People and life will sometimes do you in and obstruct you. However, you are rarely at your best when angry. It is your beliefs that lead to your self-defeating feelings of anger. I show how an angry response leads you to have far less leverage than if you felt healthy negative feelings like great annoyance, frustration, displeasure and disappointment. I teach you how to think about injustice, interference, and insult so that you stay in control of your reactions in order to creatively respond and ultimately prevail!

Anger is a common feeling however if you find that your anger controls you more than you control it then it's time to seek help. At Transformation Counseling Services we will help you learn to identify your your feeling and manage anger before it turns into rage. Most people develop anger issues during the developmental stages, due to neglect or abuse. We will teach you new behavioral strategies to combat your anger. If you are ready to do the work we are here to help. Contact us for a free consultation.

The goal of anger management is to control the anger before it controls you by reducing your emotional and physical responses to situations that trigger outbursts. At Emerge, you’ll learn to manage the intensity of your thoughts, behaviors and actions since that is all that you have control over. You can’t change the people or environments that cause you to feel enraged, but you can change yourself and identify when to remove yourself from the situations that are triggers. If you feel you’re becoming angry more easily and having low frustration tolerance, you can benefit from anger management. The first step is understanding that there is help available and reaching out for the support in order to make the change.

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

Anger is a natural and normal use of emotion that helps you get in touch with that which you are feeling. The problem is that most people don't express their anger and let it build up. Then they express themselves through rages, screaming and just being out of control. Relationships become compromised and resentment and bitterness grows. To stop the pattern, you need to first learn to relax your mind and body. Second, you need to identify what is making you angry. Third, role play expressing your feelings in a positive manner. Fourth, learn to listen other's responses to your statements. Fifth, negotiate with calm to resolve the situation. Relax, think, before you respond.

I work with anger management for anger that is not physically abusive and not required by the courts. We will look at the root causes - is this a way that you keep others at bay? Are there other ways to cope with anger? Is this an approach to conflict that you learned in your family? We will talk about your thoughts, experiences, and expectations regarding conflicts. I will help you to understand and articulate the cause your anger so that you are less likely to feel out of control.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.