Great Couples Counseling in Paramus, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I have extensive training and experience helping couples navigate some of the most painful and difficult chapters of their relationships. My approach is both compassionate and practical, shaped by years of walking with couples across the country as they work through challenges of trust, intimacy, and communication. I have also been featured in leading outlets such as Forbes, The Knot, Women’s Health, Yahoo, Self, Glamour, and AARP for my insights on relationships, intimacy, and communication. Whether you are facing ongoing conflict, a loss of closeness, or the aftermath of betrayal, I would be honored to meet with you and your partner.

Each couple is unhappy in its own way, but the core of the unhappiness is always miscommunication. Generally each member of a couple brings bad communication habits to the relationship and these habits clash. I use an eclectic approach to couples therapy that combines the latest research, utilizing psychoanalysis, role playing, role reversal, video and practice in constructive communication skills. In time, couples learn to communicate in a way that leads to resolution, not conflict.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

People can grow apart for many reasons. Sometimes life has become complicated, and you’ve lost sight of each other’s needs. Sometimes there is a breach and a loss of trust and you are not sure how to repair it, or if you even want to. One thing is certain: if two people are willing to work on repairing a marriage that has lost its way, for whatever reason, their relationship already has a foundation to build on. With time and proper counseling, the marriage can often be repaired. I work with committed couples, whether married or not, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, to help both parties clarify what attracted them in the first place, what is not working anymore, and why. Then we work on active listening and clear, simple communication....(view profile to read more)

Couples sometimes find that their relationships – once the source of so much intimacy and joy – have become disappointing, even destructive. We all reach impasses in our relationships, and these can be opportunities to overcome obstacles and grow together or to recognize irreconcilable differences and end the relationship in a healthy way. Together in therapy we can work to help you shift from criticizing and blaming to discovering individual feelings that underlie the surface conflicts. It can have a liberating and transformative effect on both you relationship and yourselves.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

In my approach to couples counseling, I integrate the Gottman Method, a research-based approach designed to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional connection. Using this method, I help couples identify destructive patterns and replace them with healthy, constructive interactions. By focusing on building trust, fostering intimacy, and enhancing problem-solving skills, I guide couples toward a stronger, more resilient partnership. Couples benefit from a deeper understanding of each other, improved conflict resolution, and a renewed sense of connection and commitment.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I work with couples to become more conscious and intentional in their interactions. I teach couples specific communication skills to break destructive patterns of relating. I encourage each partner to look and their own behavior and how they may be contributing to the problems. I explore with couples how the problems they are having in their current relationship are related to their experiences in childhood. I work with couples on eliminating reactivity by implementing self-soothing techniques. My goal with couples is to have both partners feel heard and understood by each other.

It can be so easy to fall into patterns and, over time, find that you keep having the same issues or arguments within your relationship or marriage. That's where couples counseling can help. Talking out issues and problems in a judgement-free space with a neutral third party invested in your progress and growth can help you and your relationship move forward. My goal as couples therapist is to listen to you and give you the tools and techniques to help get your relationship back on track. When you're ready to stop having the same conversations and to move forward in your relationship or marriage, let's talk.

The quality of relationships is central to your well-being; however, relational stress is often difficult to manage. Your ability to develop meaningful and healthy connections can greatly improve when you learn strategies to improve your communication. With my therapeutic support, we will examine your interactions to determine what is causing or maintaining your interpersonal conflicts. I look forward to help you improve your relationship style and connections with others. My therapeutic strategies aim at gaining confidence, effectively communicate your needs in a warm and non-threading manner, and experience greater joy in your personal connections.

I use my vast experience to help couples in their early 20s to late 70s, of all genders and sexual orientations to understand each other and communicate effectively. Whether the conflicts are emotional, sexual, or financial, I am there for you to help you navigate the waters, leading to a satisfying relationship. Couples counseling and premarital counseling can empower you to bring more joy into your life and can help prevent the heartache and the tremendous cost of divorce.

We know that even the healthiest relationships experience times where they feel lonely, and like their love has run its course. It is easy to let the stress of work, family and unexpected life events you affect you. Couples counseling gives couples the tools to improve communication, strengthen intimacy and deal with conflict. When you attend couples counseling with Transformation Counseling Services, we dig deep beneath the surface to uncover what has caused unhealthy communication. Our therapist specialize in working with all types of couples in every type of relationship. We work with LGBTQ+ couples as well as couples in non-traditional relationships. Please contact us for more info

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.