Great Couples Counseling in West Orange, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

Couples counseling is the focus-area of my practice. Within that specialization, more specifically, I work with couples coping with infidelity and affair recovery. At the cornerstone of my approach to couples counseling is to help couples deepen their trust and establish a safe emotional climate between them. Counseling is conducted with compassion, warmth and respect. I have helped many couples restore and deepen their connections with one another and I would be honored to help you and your partner too.

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

Each couple is unhappy in its own way, but the core of the unhappiness is always miscommunication. Generally each member of a couple brings bad communication habits to the relationship and these habits clash. I use an eclectic approach to couples therapy that combines the latest research, utilizing psychoanalysis, role playing, role reversal, video and practice in constructive communication skills. In time, couples learn to communicate in a way that leads to resolution, not conflict.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

Marriage counseling, couples therapy, premarital counseling and help with all tpes of relationship problems. I help couples dealing with all types of relationships problems such as dealing with conflict, communication, intimacy, and perhaps, infidelity. I'm experienced helping people with common relationship issues including problems communicating, fighting about sex (lack of or lack of interest), arguments about money, children, exes, not feeling respected, appreciated, or not making your relationship a priority. All relationships encounter problems from time to time and if you and your partner are unable to resolve issues on your own, therapy may help.

Relationship can bring great joy as well and great challenges. Many problems stem from difficulty communicating with your partner. I can assist you in finding the way to express yourself, as well as the capacity to listen; to find the appropriate boundaries that enable you to feel free while staying connected. Working through conflicts in relationships often not only preserves the relationship, but also empowers each individual to be more confident and open in their own life.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

People can grow apart for many reasons. Sometimes life has become complicated, and you’ve lost sight of each other’s needs. Sometimes there is a breach and a loss of trust and you are not sure how to repair it, or if you even want to. One thing is certain: if two people are willing to work on repairing a marriage that has lost its way, for whatever reason, their relationship already has a foundation to build on. With time and proper counseling, the marriage can often be repaired. I work with committed couples, whether married or not, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, to help both parties clarify what attracted them in the first place, what is not working anymore, and why. Then we work on active listening and clear, simple communication....(view profile to read more)

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Do you or your partner suffer from social anxiety and it's affecting your relationship? Social anxiety is a fear of negative judgment from others and it can lead to reduced levels of intimacy, suppressed emotions, feelings of isolation and loneliness and lack of communication. If one or both of you feels anxious socially, your relationship may be suffering too. Contact me for ways in which you can move past social anxiety to a fuller, intimate, richer, relaxed more authentic relationship.

It can be so easy to fall into patterns and, over time, find that you keep having the same issues or arguments within your relationship or marriage. That's where couples counseling can help. Talking out issues and problems in a judgement-free space with a neutral third party invested in your progress and growth can help you and your relationship move forward. My goal as couples therapist is to listen to you and give you the tools and techniques to help get your relationship back on track. When you're ready to stop having the same conversations and to move forward in your relationship or marriage, let's talk.