Grief and Loss Counseling in Hillsdale, NJ.

Grief and loss are certainly very difficult to deal with, but sooner or later, it comes to all of us. I meet my clients right where they are in the process of their grieving, and sit with them in that space. I help people to walk through the feelings and stay with them through the process. I create a safe space where clients can be with all the emotions they are experiencing. I am very patient as individuals walk through their grief at their own pace.

If it is a past loss we will talk about that relationship and what it meant to you, and see how that person affected you in your current life and what he/she meant to you. If it is a current or impending loss, we can focus on day-to-day issues to lessen anxiety, and process how to handle what time is left. Practical issues may be discussed. if you find yourself obsessing we will probably focus on feeling, if you find yourself lost in feeling, we may focus on verbalizing your thoughts and your feelings. If you are overwhelmed by depression and find it difficult to function, I will make recommendations for medications and/or alternative strategies.

Suffering with grief and loss is often a lonely place. Others may try to comfort you, offering sympathy which is well-intended but often doesn’t help you heal. Talking to an experience therapist can help you move through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages are normal, and although the process may be painful, reaching acceptance is the stage where you realize that although you may miss the person, your life is still worth living and can be productive and happy.

The benefit of my approach for someone who is grieving and who has suffered a great loss is that I actively teach you how to accept things that cannot be changed. Only by achieving real acceptance can the individual carry on in life despite the loss. Acceptance in REBT does not mean liking or even denying the loss. Acceptance in REBT means to acknowledge that a great loss has occurred and to feel healthy negative feelings of sadness, even great sadness. The benefit that results is that one can still have some degree of enjoyment in life. One can function without guilt and do well in life despite having suffered a great loss. This is leverage over the loss, the thing that cannot be changed.

Grief and bereavement are the natural emotional responses to any kind of loss. It involves experiencing intense feelings, many of them unexpectedly and overwhelmingly. Loss is a personal journey; while grieving can often foster compassion and connection among family and friends, it is also common for the griever to experience difficulties identifying and sharing feelings or experience inter-personal conflict. Even, guilt, anxiety and anger may rise in addition to sadness and sorrow during grief. Bereavement counseling can provide a safe space to explore the struggles inherent to loss, with the support and understanding of a professional.