Divorce is one of the most stressful and difficult events in a person’s life. When a marriage becomes unsuccessful due to any number of reasons between the couple, however, divorce may become an option to consider. It can be a huge weight lifted off someone’s shoulders due to the lack of conflict it creates, but it also means lifestyle changes. The longer your marriage has lasted up until this point, the more difficult it may become to move on and accept these changes. Divorce can also have long-term effects on family members and others who are close to the couple as well. Fortunately, there are ways that we can solve the problems that can crop up as a result of divorce. Life does not have to be more difficult from here on out.

Divorce could be the result of a variety of problems that could not be resolved. Some people do not take marriage very seriously to begin with, cheating on their spouse regularly and only faking their commitment. Other times the issues could be more complicated. Some people might put hobbies or careers before their marriages, causing their partners to feel neglected. Others might have underlying problems with themselves that they let affect their marriages, such as depression or an addiction. There doesn’t always have to be a separate issue, however—some couples simply don’t get along. Maybe they rushed into the marriage and no longer feel as though they’re compatible. Maybe one or both of the partners is getting older and feels the need for a huge lifestyle change in which divorce is included.

Challenges Faced By Divorce

Divorce is much more complicated than paperwork. The lives of everyone involved, including any children, becomes altered even down to daily routine. A divorce is not always desired by both people involved, and may result in feelings of loneliness, grief, devastation, guilt, anxiety, desperation, or depression. It can seem like the end of the world, having grown accustomed to married life only to find that after so many years it was all just a “waste of time”.

Some families might try to make divorce work under one roof while others will separate, sometimes moving in with a friend or family member. You might find yourself spending time with a completely different set of people after divorce. Since your financial situation is bound to change from not having a double-income, your work life could change as well. Perhaps you have been a stay-at-home mom for the duration of your marriage, but now that you’re divorced, you need to start working again as a means of supporting your children when you previously didn’t have to. Not everyone can change their lifestyle within a day, either—it can take weeks or months to find a new place to live or work.

How Divorce Affects The Family

Family members and friends will likely feel the need to spend time with you and support you during this difficult time in your life. If you have children with your ex-partner, they have a chance of feeling the effects of divorce just as much as you and your partner do. Just as your lifestyle has to change, so does their own. Most children do not want their parents to divorce and might hang on to the false hope that you two might fall in love again someday. If it takes them longer to get over the divorce than it does for you, they may not be able to accept it when you are ready to move on and start dating other people. This also depends on the age of the children; the longer they’ve been used to the family being as it was, the harder it may be for them to accept necessary changes.

Unfortunately, many divorced couples often take the divorce out on their own children, which can have long-term affects on them. They might use the child to passive-aggressively communicate with each other through messages, or ask the child what their ex-partner has been up to, where they go, who they have been with, etc. A child of divorce is more likely to get a divorce in the future, as well as feel less happy or in control of themselves. They might also do worse in school.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy can help us cope with the drastic changes that occur as a result of divorce. The financial and emotional burdens we experience during this process can become extremely stressful, and therapy helps us manage that stress. Therapy can aid us in discovering new things about ourselves and re-inventing who we are. It is an opportunity for growth and to turn the divorce into a life-changing experience to better ourselves. Therapy can also help children of divorce become happy and self-motivated once again by means of self-expression, and focusing on how the divorce is affecting their negative behavior.

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