Theravive Home

Ah! Chapter 4: How Boundaries are Developed, finally something to chew on AND a reason to blame the folks! So here we go some stuff that starts to help me make sense of why I live with this skewed sense of boundaries and often so much guilt: Boundaries are built they are not inherited. In fact, boundary development is an ongoing process (whew!) yet the most formative stages happen in our early yea... [More]

So I am still struggling with this material. I am finding it very heady and not so much about practical application at this time. Chapter three I think in the title sums up pretty much where I am at “Boundary Problems” And here is what they had to say. We assume the person who has trouble setting boundaries is the one with the problem but often it is the one who does not kee... [More]

An Uncomfortable and Necessary Journey:“Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend- Book Review Chapter 2 So as I sat down to read this chapter I actually felt the weight of the world falling in on me. I spent the day juggling a whole bunch of stuff that really was not my priority nor did it fulfil me. I experienced stress, anxiety, guilt, exhaustion, and physical pain in my back and sh... [More]

An Uncomfortable and Necessary Journey: “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend- Book Review Chapter 1 Do you cringe when you hear the word “boundaries”? Do you struggle with too little time and too many demands on it? Do you feel isolated, helpless, guilt ridden, and out of control? Well, I certainly do! AND I am a well-adjusted, educated, well-travelled, successful mid 30&... [More]

The origins of Thanksgiving have nothing to do with a bunch of Indians and pilgrims sitting down for a bountiful feast of turkey. In reality although the settlers with pale faces had been bothering the Indians in addition to giving them many new diseases they had never had were starving by this time. The Indians took pity on them and brought them some corn and fish. Thanksgiving has a lot of emoti... [More]

Here are some ways you can deal with your sons violent tendencies. The most powerful motivator is your ability to use descriptive praise. In the example you have given me of your son balling up his fist as if to hit you the fact that he didn't is something that you can praise as you describe his behaviors. Descriptive praise needs to be very specific to the behavior and happen as quickly as possib... [More]

Being discouraged can be as devastating as stopping you in your tracks or it can merely be a pothole in the journey of life. Its basis is the feeling that even if you give it your best shot you will not achieve your goals. If we don't stop it when it starts it will result in such negative attitudes and emotions that it will rob us of our productivity and self-confidence. It can have a negative imp... [More]

There is nothing more true than the old phrase, "good fences make good neighbors." In personal relationships having unhealthy boundaries create much pain because to a great extent we define ourselves in relation to others. The problem occurs when our own needs, feelings and opinions become ignored. From there it's one easy step into becoming overwhelmed by that other person. Not being able to ... [More]

By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor Once upon a time, a man and a woman would get married and have children. Together they would raise these children and watch them leave the nest. They would then retire and spend the rest of their lives in matching rockers. While this still does happen in the year 2012, it is not the norm anymore. With divorce rates soaring as high as they have ever been... [More]

By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor Whether you realize it or not, sleep plays a very large role in our lives. In fact, at least 1/3 of our entire life is spent sleeping! When we are children we hate to do it and as adults we cannot get enough of it, but either way you look at it, sleep is something we must have. You may be surprised to learn what sleep does for our bodies and what the e... [More]