Anger Management and Counseling in Santa Clara, CA.

ANGER....something that we all have negative (if not traumatic) experience with. We are taught from a young age that it is no o.k. to feel or express anger. Unfortunately, simply because we ignore or suppress does not mean that it disappears. If left unacknowledged, it remains in our minds, hearts, and bodies. Further, the inappropriate expression of (or LACK of healthy expression) can cause severe damage to our most cherished relationships. Therapy is the ideal place for articulating, as well as learning how to effectively express, our anger. Remember, anger is only an internal alarm system telling us that something needs attention. It's what we do with it that matters.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Anger can, especially be, a difficult problem for men. Most men are not able to easily identify their emotions nor describe them in words. Men have enormous difficult feeling the subtlety of their anger. They often feel nothing or rage. Healthy anger management requires us to be aware of how we are feeling. We also need to calm ourselves down, in other words - regulate our feelings. Using Affect Management Skills Training, you will have the opportunity to learn how to apply the basic skills to become the person you hope to be. When we are able to regulate our feelings in a healthy way, our relationships change.