Anger Management and Counseling in Milpitas, CA.

Donald Dufford,Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist, has specialized training and experience in Anger Management. Dr. Dufford provides a safe, non-judgemental environment to overcome anger, frustration and relationship issues. Where appropriate he can help uncover and clear past trauma or underlying emotional patterns that fuel frustration as well as teach specific tools and techniques to change behavior in the present. Learn how to be calm and effective in any situation. Call now for a free ten minute phone consultation.

Anger is one feeling that seems to come up readily when we are hurt, feel misunderstood, feel hopeless, or wronged. Anger in itself is not a bad thing. It is an emotion like all others, but how we find resources, who we turn to, having someone to talk to, and then deciding what to do, can be helpful. Anger can be a useful tool if we can understand what has triggered us and what to do about it in ways that are not self destructive. I offer a safe place to explore all the feelings surrounding anger so that it starts to feel like something you have a choice in expressing the way you want to.

Angry outbursts usually reflect an autonomic nervous system that is dysregulated from unresolved trauma and accumulated stress response. Not only do I work with you to give you new tools and ways to put a stop sign between the stimulus and your anger reponse, but using the tools of Somatic Experiencing we can actually discharge that fight or flight energy that is backed up behind the dam waiting to explode. This will leave you feeling calm and well regulated in the face of daily stresses and encounters.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

Healthy anger management requires us to be aware of how we are feeling, as well as calm ourselves down... in other words: regulate our feelings. This can be especially difficult for men, who aren't typically in touch with their emotions. Using Affect Management Skills Training and online anger management counseling, you can learn how to better understand your own emotional responses and apply the skills to become the person you hope to be. When we're able to regulate our feelings in a healthy way, our relationships change for the better. Please feel free to visit my website for more information or contact me today to schedule a consultation... I look forward to helping you help yourself!

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

In anger management sessions with me, you will learn to identify triggers and early warning signs of your anger in order to feel more in control of the experience of this emotion. By better understanding your unique anger process, you will get through this feeling more quickly in the future as well as with more peace and less damage to relationships. I will teach you valuable relaxation, conflict resolution, and relapse prevention skills so that you can stay calmer in triggering situations even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Do you regularly find yourself frustrated and angry at the people you want to be closest to and that you love the most? Do you strive to stay calm and balanced, but then find yourself going off on people at home or at work? I work with people to recognize how anger comes from unenforceable rules you create for how others, or you yourself, "should" behave. Unrealistic rules create expectations that you waste your life & energy trying to enforce in yourself and others. We will work together to understand the rules you have made that are realistic and helpful, and to give you the choice to change the rules that are creating unnecessary grief for you and the people who want to be close to you.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion until it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Anger make may make you react too rapidly to be able to sit down and assess the situation objectively and apply the powerful strategies. When you are able to express your anger effectively, you will feel greater zest, joy, peace and productivity.

You cannot always control how you feel, but you can learn how to control how you react to those feelings. Dealing with overwhelming emotions, such as anger, for a long time can be frustrating and have negative impact on important areas of your life, such as career and relationships. I can help you develop effective skills to manage your emotional reactions in healthier ways and in turn reduce prolonged suffering.

For men and teens, anger is one of the few acceptable emotions but when it gets out of hand, it can hurt those we love and endanger our relationships. I work with men and teens to explore the underlying issues that result in their anger to free them to convert the anger into more useful ways to communicate. This results in more productive and healthier ways to express their needs, fears and desires. With women, I make it easier for them to express their anger, which they have suppressed most of their life. When women realize they have the right to their anger, they are freed to express more and become the person they have always wanted to be, particularly in their relationships.

Many of us experience anger and/or rage in the course of our relationships. Anger in and of itself is not a problem - in fact its a good way to let you know that there is some vulnerable feeling underneath that is too painful to reach just yet. Its what we DO with our anger that gets us in trouble. I can teach you tools to manage your anger without denying your entitlement to it.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger when used appropriately can be a useful tool to give us the aggressive energy we need to take action when we are feeling helpless or victimized. Unfortunately, it is often misused and becomes abusive, creating whole new problems for relationships and careers. I work with clients to first learn to control their emotional expressions, define the underlying feelings creating the hostility, and learn new skills to better utilize their feelings to resolve conflict in more adult ways.

Your anger is an attempt at reclaiming power and control. The problem is that when others feel victimized in some way by your angry outbursts, they naturally become defensive and perhaps angry as well. I can help you find more effective ways of expressing yourself and getting your needs met. Underneath the angry feelings are the vulnerable feelings of fear or hurt. Once these are acknowledged and cared for, either by yourself or another, there is movement towards ease and contentment. I can help you slow down the powerful reactions, and get to the core so that you find your real needs and your abilities to connect healthfully with others.

Anger can feel like an all consuming reaction to something other may have done to you intentionally or unintentionally. However, we always wind up on dealing with the aftermath of our anger when we didn't even feel like we were in control of the situation. If this is happening, we will working on developing anger management strategies. We will identify those common words or behaviors that set us off and try to better understand our anger in the beginning stages. This will allow us to start establishing and using coping strategies that will put us in control. Ideally, these techniques and strategies will help improve our relationships with those that we want to spend time with.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

If you struggle with anger, therapy can help. Many people find that anger is the easiest emotion for them to access. Maybe under the anger you are hurt, lonely, afraid, jealous, sad or ashamed. Wouldn't it be great to have a whole range of emotions again? I use mindfulness to help you learn to sooth your nervous system and psychodynamic therapy to identify what's behind your anger. If you have experienced difficult or traumatic events that are weighing you down, EMDR therapy can free you up to live and act in the present.

ANGER....something that we all have negative (if not traumatic) experience with. We are taught from a young age that it is no o.k. to feel or express anger. Unfortunately, simply because we ignore or suppress does not mean that it disappears. If left unacknowledged, it remains in our minds, hearts, and bodies. Further, the inappropriate expression of (or LACK of healthy expression) can cause severe damage to our most cherished relationships. Therapy is the ideal place for articulating, as well as learning how to effectively express, our anger. Remember, anger is only an internal alarm system telling us that something needs attention. It's what we do with it that matters.

Do you often find yourself feeling angry and misunderstood? Therapy can help you identify what may be contributing to your anger and can help you work towards more effective ways to channel it. Anger is real and valid and is telling us something important. Together we can find more positive ways to relate to it and to express it. I offer an approach that helps you effectively communicate needs, regulate strong emotions, increase coping skills and stress reduction strategies. Living with anger can feel isolating and uncomfortable. Shall we work together to find ways to change the intensity of emotion and find more satisfying ways to express it within yourself and to others?

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Anger is a natural feeling that everyone experiences. It is what we do with out anger, how we handle it, that can cause us trouble. I help my clients understand their thoughts and their reactions by beginning with an understanding of what happens in their bodies when they get angry and or frustrated (they go hand in hand). We look at ways to recognize when anger is building and importantly to recognize the triggers, what is going on just before the feelings build. Together we explore the thoughts and feelings, help change some of those thoughts and learn important ways to manage them.

Clients often identify "anger" as a primary concern on counseling intake forms. So many of us struggle with anger because it occurs in response to so many life experiences and we are rarely taught how to appropriately communicate about it. Anger, and the way we express it, often leaves us with negative consequences that impact our lives at home and at work. The reality about anger is that it is often a secondary emotion...a reaction to hurt and pain. Cognitive therapy can help identify what thoughts and events trigger our anger. Once we can identify the triggers we can learn to be more conscious and active in choosing how we will respond to them.