Anger Management and Counseling in Milpitas, CA.

Clients often identify "anger" as a primary concern on counseling intake forms. So many of us struggle with anger because it occurs in response to so many life experiences and we are rarely taught how to appropriately communicate about it. Anger, and the way we express it, often leaves us with negative consequences that impact our lives at home and at work. The reality about anger is that it is often a secondary emotion...a reaction to hurt and pain. Cognitive therapy can help identify what thoughts and events trigger our anger. Once we can identify the triggers we can learn to be more conscious and active in choosing how we will respond to them.

Anger can feel like an all consuming reaction to something other may have done to you intentionally or unintentionally. However, we always wind up on dealing with the aftermath of our anger when we didn't even feel like we were in control of the situation. If this is happening, we will working on developing anger management strategies. We will identify those common words or behaviors that set us off and try to better understand our anger in the beginning stages. This will allow us to start establishing and using coping strategies that will put us in control. Ideally, these techniques and strategies will help improve our relationships with those that we want to spend time with.

Angry outbursts usually reflect an autonomic nervous system that is dysregulated from unresolved trauma and accumulated stress response. Not only do I work with you to give you new tools and ways to put a stop sign between the stimulus and your anger reponse, but using the tools of Somatic Experiencing we can actually discharge that fight or flight energy that is backed up behind the dam waiting to explode. This will leave you feeling calm and well regulated in the face of daily stresses and encounters.

Do you find it difficult to distinguish between experiencing the emotion of anger and the behavior you exhibit when angry? While "anger-management" techniques are somewhat helpful, the results are often not sustained. Appropriate attention to the underlying issues of depression and anxiety is critical in effectively addressing anger-related difficulties. A combination of Cognitive-Behavioral and Psychodynamic therapies focused on these issues can greatly help you to learn with and accept your "emotion" of anger without needing or being triggered into "behaving" in an angry and destructive manner. If you have trouble controlling your anger and want help, feel free to contact me.

Anger is one feeling that seems to come up readily when we are hurt, feel misunderstood, feel hopeless, or wronged. Anger in itself is not a bad thing. It is an emotion like all others, but how we find resources, who we turn to, having someone to talk to, and then deciding what to do, can be helpful. Anger can be a useful tool if we can understand what has triggered us and what to do about it in ways that are not self destructive. I offer a safe place to explore all the feelings surrounding anger so that it starts to feel like something you have a choice in expressing the way you want to.

Anger is one of the most common feelings and at the same time one of the most denied and repressed. How many of us can say that we were ever taught how to "do anger" in a safe and respectful way. Most of us saw as children various forms of dysfunctional expressions of anger: violent, abusive, misdirected, or none at all. In therapy with me you will be able to explore the lessons of anger you learned as a child, so you can choose new ways of expressing this common emotion... Ways of expressing anger that are not destructive to you, your family, your friends, or your work.

Anger is an emotion that is generally not allowed in our culture. It is something that we tend to either avoid or overuse. The first step is awareness and taking ownership of what feelings belong to you and why. The second step is to find healthy ways to release the anger. And thirdly, therapy can help you express your feelings in a healthy format so that you can take better care of yourself and be the person you truly are.

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Here at My True Temperament Christian Counseling, LLC, we teach anger management skills through the lens of the Bible and also teach better communication skills and relaxation techniques. Anger is a natural emotion which more often than not is a signal that something in the client's environment isn't working. We discuss with the client what upsets him/her and we try and eliminate it. During the anger management therapeutic process, we remind all our clients about the importance of keeping a sense of humor.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Clients from various backgrounds take many different approaches to think about, feel and express anger. However, when anger negatively impacts one’s relationships, it is important to explore what is contributing to an unhealthy experience of anger. In my collaboration with clients, we venture out to explore the conscious and unconscious factors that may need to be brought to light, in the context of perhaps other biopsychosocial (biological, psychological or social) factors that may need attention. Clients who learn to understand, better identify and manage their impulses, cultivate insight and explore opportunities to practice developing skills to have an improved sense of self-mastery.

Your anger is an attempt at reclaiming power and control. The problem is that when others feel victimized in some way by your angry outbursts, they naturally become defensive and perhaps angry as well. I can help you find more effective ways of expressing yourself and getting your needs met. Underneath the angry feelings are the vulnerable feelings of fear or hurt. Once these are acknowledged and cared for, either by yourself or another, there is movement towards ease and contentment. I can help you slow down the powerful reactions, and get to the core so that you find your real needs and your abilities to connect healthfully with others.