Anger Management and Counseling in Santa Monica, CA.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

To externalized emotions will reduce anger. Anger held in internally hurts. I will assist you in developing a means to solutions and resolution without you feeling the pain from anger. Working at coping and letting go of highly intense emotions will lead you to emotional freedom with the ultimate goal being emotional wisdom. It is not always what we say to another, but rather how we say it.

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger has a way of arriving faster than thought and leaving regret in its wake: harsh words you can't take back, a tension others have started to walk around. If that's familiar, there's nothing shameful about it, and it can change. In our work, we'll get serious about it out together: what sets it off, what it's defending, and what it might be expressing of deeper feelings. Much of what drives anger sits just out of view, and bringing it into words tends to take the heat out of it. As you come to understand your own reactions, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond. I've guided many people from explosive reactions to real composure, and I'm confident we can do the same. Let's begin!

Is your anger getting the best of you? Perhaps its ruining your relationship or compromising your ability to move up in your career. Maybe its just a feeling--you're always tense, stressed, worked up, you feel "on edge." Whatever your experience is, there is health to be had and hope to be found. Something in you knows there's got to be another way to live. Together, we'll explore what your anger is really about and develop strategies to get you feeling more healthy and whole so you can have the relationship with others you want to, the internal peace that people talk about, and the ability to move well through stressful situations.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.