Anger Management and Counseling in Temecula, CA.

Struggling with expressing one's emotions can lead to anger outbursts. Anger denies us the opportunity to fully be heard by the person we are attempting to express our feelings to and can lead to misunderstandings and further emotional turmoil. We can turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms when we don't feel heard or understood. Alcohol use, drug use, compulsive sexual behavior, detachment and isolation, among other unwanted behaviors may develop as a way to numb intense, unresolved feelings. Counseling can help reduce and eliminate these unwanted behaviors by learning new ways to communicate, express and label emotions, deal with emotions as they arise, and connect with others.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Free 30 minute zoom call - Anger is a powerful emotion AND it's an energy we feel in our bodies. Generally, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are running through Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of childhood trauma. When unresolved, this anger continues into adulthood. There are many ways that anger can be addressed - through changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and using brain science and nervous system education, clients can learn to calm & soothe themselves or what is called, "regulate the nervous system"

Anger management has become a loaded phrase. The way I see it, difficulties in managing anger often stem from a lack of overall emotion regulation issues, childhood trauma, influence of negative stereotypes, and much more. In truth, it becomes less about anger and more about learning to accept and express negative emotions in general. Anger is often seen as a secondary emotion, in that it is prompted by an individual first experiencing an emotion which they do not feel comfortable expressing or have been taught not to express. While anger may make us feel powerful momentarily, it often weakens us and our relationships in the long run.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!