Great Couples Counseling in Carmel by the Sea, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples therapy has a focus on each individual as well as the “relationship”. Therapy is short-term and highly directive, meaning that the therapist takes the lead and directs the course of therapy. Each individual does “work”, with their spouse or partner in the room, and couples contract to do three hours in between sessions to implement change. The remarkable research-based work of John Gottman is integrated into the “homework” assignments. In addition to a focus on behavioral change in the present, a focus of therapy is on past events. Often times past events become “burdens” that interfere with intimacy. As such, sexual difficulties can also be reversed when applicable.

Arrive together on the first and you may stay together. I insist that couplescome to at least 8 sessions together before deciding to bailout. Therapy is a way to confess your sessions and your thoughts to each other with me as a buffer. Couples who come jointly will sometimes be separated during the session to share their thoughts with me alone first. Then I'll encourage disclose of those thoughts to the partner. By making listings of reasons to stay and separate, I help clients organize their thoughts from the get go.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.