Great Couples Counseling in Newport Beach, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I offer couples therapy in a practical, supportive, and down-to-earth way. Many couples feel stuck in cycles of miscommunication, conflict, or emotional distance that are difficult to change on their own. Therapy provides a space to slow things down, understand each other more clearly, and learn new ways of relating. I help couples improve communication, reduce recurring arguments, and rebuild trust and connection. Together, we focus on creating a stronger, more respectful partnership where both individuals feel heard, valued, and understood.

Couples therapy combines techniques from the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. After gathering a comprehensive history about your relationship, we will specify goals and work to build strong emotional alliances. The goal is to help lead you to a deeper understanding of each other, and then move toward more effective problem solving and accountability for communicating your needs within the relationship.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Couples come in all sorts of configurations, from Mommy/baby, to employer/employee, to parent/child/adoles. and of course husbands/partners/wives. Each of these couples are tremendously intimate and are often the very place we act out, feel grave disappointments and experiences some of our highest joys. This can be an optimum place of growth for both participants. It takes courage, honesty and a willingness to look inward and outward.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.