Family Counseling Services in Yountville, CA.

I enjoy helping families find creative solutions to nagging conflicts or concerns. It is exciting to see families discover a "We" and the helpful, often surprising things they learn, even from their youngest members as I help them listen to each other more carefully. I also help families create the safety to share things they have found difficult, including their desire to help that is sometimes hidden behind behavior that doesn't feel very loving. I work with families of many shapes and sizes, and I am willing to begin with as many or as few family members as are willing to come for help to create a more healthy and rewarding life together.

Feeling more loved, heard, appreciated and supported often happens in families that I work with. Family members may be either or both parents, grandparents, and children of any age, including grown children. Clients often benefit immensely from learning communication skills like how to let others know what they are feeling, thinking and needing in a way that others can hear them. They learn how to resolve disagreements without arguments. They lean how to connect with one another in loving and appreciative ways.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

Most families who come in to see me consist of adult children and their parents. Usually if a family with young children want to see me with their kids, the issues are more about how to parent more effectively. In those cases, I work with the parents to improve the family situation. Let me know if you would like to talk further about your family situation.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.

I subscribe to the Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools and mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas and I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain self esteem that they can bring out in to the world

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

We so much want our homes and our families to be our safe haven and secure base, the place where we feel appreciated and loved. When this is an unhappy place with disharmony, anger, acting out , then our basis for well-being erodes. I am a relationship specialist. I have many years of experience helping family members express themselves effectively, hear one another clearly and experience new ways of being with each other that help everyone feel seen and cared for. When relationships are repaired and emotional connections re-established, children want to follow guidelines and respect limits. I work with pre-teens, adolescents, young adults and their parents. I bring families back together.