Grief and Loss Counseling in Alhambra, CA.

When someone is grieving, it is sometimes difficult to know what to say. People feel awkward and often are reduced to well-meaning platitudes. There is no magic wand to take away the feelings experienced in grief but having a place of safety and honesty can be an important step on the road to restoration. Being able to talk, weep, get angry and feel the feelings is often present in the early stages. The purpose of grief work is not about forgetting remembering with love in spite of the wounds it leaves behind.

Gentleness and patience are the key words for those in the process of grief and loss. When working with those who have lost a loved one, whether that be a close family member or a beloved animal companion, gentleness, empathy, and patience are of utmost importance. When working with clients who are experiencing loss. I provide special space for silence. The profound experience of loss is unique to each individual and requires space for the pain of the loss to emerge and careful regard for the mulit-dimensional experience of the empty space left behind. We will honor the healing process while simultaneously creating opportunity for transition to hope in a new season of emergent life.

We all will inevitably experience loss- i.e., the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, possibly significant life transitions. Grief and loss work focuses on developing effective and healthy coping mechanisms while moving through often challenging emotional states. Often individuals utilize maladaptive coping strategies, such as substances, alcohol and/or food to help minimize painful feelings. My philosophy is that while there are identifiable stages of grief and loss, they are not experienced sequentially. Navigating often confusing and competing emotions is necessary to ultimately heal.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.

Loss and grief are natural occurrences in life. However, they can be major intrusions in the quality of our life if we are too caught up in them. They can also interfere if we are so defended against them that they limit our ability to function or impair our daily interactions with others. Sometimes, what we have lost is not a person but a job or a situation in our life that has had great meaning for us, like our self-image. That can feel devastating. Just like losing a person, these events must be grieved if we are to be able to move on. Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting or being weak. It’s a sign of love and strength. Together, we can work through the grief so you can move on.

My years of experience as a psychologist has confirmed that there is no particular timetable for overcoming grief whether from a death of relative, partner, friend, pet or the more symbolic losses of empty nest, end of career, decisions not to have children or marry. I provide a safe environment for patients to explore the many feelings associated with grieving on their own terms and timetable.

Confronting the pain of loss may feel too intense, but counseling can bring relief. How? Talking about your sadness, regrets, guilt, anger, etc., will help you release thoughts and feelings… slowly accept how the loss impacts your life… give the lost loved one a new place in your heart... and eventually adjust to your changed life and often-new self. You can re-discover the joy of life without forgetting what you have lost.

Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross' model of grief with the 5 stages. While this is helpful information, this model does not fit everyone. I practice from the Winslade and Hedtke model of grief which practices "Remembering". I find that using this model or this model in conjunction with the 5 stage grief model is helpful to helping clients explore loss and grief in finding a pathway forward that honors their own experiences.

Grief and loss can be overwhelming, confusing and debilitating. There are often overpowering feelings of sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt and anger. If you experience the loss of a loved one or the loss of your marriage (going through divorce), i am here to help. I will work with you through your feelings, whatever they may be, to provide a sense of clarity and self-connection in the journey of grief.