Anger Management and Counseling in Lake Arbor, MD.

Anger is much feared and little understood. It is an essential human emotion, and yet it can lead to rage, which is a destructive instinct. It is essential when dealing with anger to get to the root of it, which is most often deep hurt and/or loss. Using brainspotting (https://brainspotting.pro/) as well as psycho-education, I have helped many people make friends with their anger and have far greater freedom of choice as to how to express it.

How do you know if your anger is serious enough to need help? A quick answer is if you find that anger is your go-to, knee-jerk reaction to everyday irritants and disappointments, or if your anger is compromising your quality of life, it may be time to talk to someone. My way of working with angry clients is to both search for the causes of the anger as well as figure out concrete, common-sense ways for anger to be managed on a daily basis. Anger itself is not the problem; often it's the management (or mismanagement) of it that brings on a host of other problems. Maybe you have a right to be angry! But wouldn't it be better to be able to express that anger in a way others can really hear it?

Have you been told how to deal with your anger with little or no help? Do you find most anger management strategies relatively easy to understand but quite difficult to put into practice? If so, you are not alone. There is a reason for this and it is not because you are not trying hard enough. Anger is a very important and powerful emotion that must be addressed in a deeply emotional way and not just through our heads, knowledge or understanding. This requires the expertise of a therapist who is comfortable and skilled in working with anger.

We treat anger with compassion, as it is our experience that anger is usually a symptom of an underlying issue or feeling that is harder to feel or cope with in life. Issues with anger can also present themselves as a part of someone versus all of them. We treat all mental health issues from a trauma-informed, strengths-based, systems model of care.

Anger is a natural response to hurt and fear but it can cause more pain in our lives if we use it to hurt others, physically or emotionally. Anger that is destructive, usually comes from an old hurt that we are carrying within us. This hurt has been painfully touched by circumstances or by the actions of someone else. First we need to learn ways to stop our hurtful actions by taking a break or walking away. Then, however, we need to turn our attention to the underlying hurt and to bring compassion and care to our own hurt self. You will find that at the same time, you become more compassionate toward other people.

Many people have quick tempers and are easily flooded with unhappy emotions. Using new information from neuroscience, we help people learn to observe and think about their own anger process, and then learn ways to re-evaluate and apply “antidote” thoughts to the angry ones. Conversely, many people carry resentment and grudges, and have a lively inner critic of themselves or others, but don’t know how to effectively request what they need and want. They may stew rather than share the needs for safety, control or connection which fuel the anger. Again, we help people follow the feelings, re-appraise them, and come up with a whole different set of actions and reactions. And then practice them in rea....

There is a lot in the world that can leave you feeling angry, especially right now! Anger is a natural human feeling, though people don't always know how to manage or what to do with it. Some find being angry can be scary or overwhelming, or gets in the way of more satisfying experiences. Working to better understand what makes you angry and any additional feelings (hurt, sadness, etc) can help you to better be able to advocate for what you need. In therapy, we will collaboratively come to better understand your anger and develop ways of approaching it that allows you to be heard.

For you to understand where your anger comes from and what triggers it is most important. I do not believe in managing anger. One needs to learn its source and have coaching in how to change the mind-set behind it. Sometimes anger is tied to PTSD and abuse. These must be uncovered with help, then redirected with coaching. Others can't manage your life, you must be taught how to cope through the mine fields of life. I have found that most have been told they will have to live with "pain" and we will manage it for you. I have not found that to be the real case. I see real change in people. We are not to be trapped in anger. So I know there is real hope.

Anger is a natural emotional response and it emerges as a combination of thoughts, statements, physical reactions, and overall physical arousal. One goal of therapy is to use anger as a helpful and constructive tool in recognizing and establishing boundaries or advocating for your needs. Another goal is to reduce agitation, aggression, argumentativeness, and tension, by learning and practicing skills that help you improve interactions with others and develop healthy ways to communicate your emotions.

We all experience anger in our lives. I help clients develop healthy ways to experience and express their anger by: • Identifying effective ways to handle anger and express feelings; • Understanding how feelings such as fear, pride and inferiority feed anger; • Transforming negative patterns of thinking, relating and behaving that influence anger; • Learning ways to communicate, resolve conflicts and meet needs successfully; and • Developing a healthy lifestyle that supports a successful life. The constructive use of anger, assertiveness, helps express and preserve our needs, worth, and convictions while considering and respecting the needs and feelings of others.

Do you find that you often react first and think later? Do you often feel ashamed of behaviors you may have performed due to feelings of anger or frustration? Do you feel as if no one listens to your concerns? Let's work on finding different ways to manage your feelings - - let's talk. Give therapy a try - - you deserve the opportunity to see things differently. Make it a good day - - be well. Give me a call for a free phone consult to discuss your concerns. 240.292.6127

While anger has a proper place in our lives, it is easy to get stuck in a cycle of escalating anger. This often happens because of things going on inside of us that we don't know how to work through on our own (and so we compensate, or cope, by getting angry). The good news is that regardless of what is fueling our anger, we are capable of building the necessary emotional muscles to work through those underlying issues, thus enabling us to control our anger healthily (instead of it controlling us). If you are struggling with anger I would be honored to help you make sense of, and work through, what is underneath it so that you can move towards more wholeness and peace in your life.

I am a Certified Anger Management Specialist trained by the National Anger Management Association. I work with men and women who have difficulty controlling their anger and rage at home or at work. I can help you become aware of your anger triggers and teach you calming techniques and conflict resolution skills. I will also help you learn assertive communication skills. I work with men and women who are court-referred as well as with those who would like to work on these issues with a trained anger management specialist.