Grief and Loss Counseling in Lake Elmo, MN.

The goal in my approach to grief counseling is to help my clients to accept the loss by getting them to talk and allow themselves to feel what they are feeling. I will help you work through the grief instead of suppressing or masking it. Getting you to express your feelings related to the lose and help you identify the categories of your emotions. You will learn to be able to separate emotionally from the lose and work towards moving forward with a more positive outlook on the future.

Whether your loss is sudden and clear or chronic and ambiguous you will experience grief. Grief is a normal response but it seems to have a mind of its own and can be completely overwhelming. Yet you must go on with your life somehow. The goal of grief counseling is not to get over it, but to help you build resilience and strength, find a new sense of meaning, and to grow forward in your own way. I will walk with you through this valley and support you in finding the path to recovery.

Grief is normal, exquisitely painful, and seriously lonely. My earliest therapy experience was as a Hospice Grief Counselor for four years. In those formative years, I learned the core issues that hamper our grief, the practices that make grief more tolerable, and the practiced patience necessary to bring comfort to those suffering sudden and protracted loss. I won't rush you. I'll normalize your pain and I'll nudge you gently toward practices that help.

Clients will benefit from grief and loss counseling with me by learning how his or her loss is a part of their story. We will work together to develop a memorial, tell stories, process hurts, and create new traditions as you see fit. The grief process is unique. The time that it takes to develop a new sense of normal will also be unique to who you are, the relationship that you had with your loved one, and the nature of his or her passing.

In grieving a loss of a loved one it is okay to not experience all of the 5 stages of grief and/or to experience the 5 stages in a specific order. Grief and loss can be complex and it is the job of a therapist to meet you where you are in the process and to support you in processing thoughts and feelings related to the loss as well as making new life adjustments.

Sorrow can immobilize life. It binds our hearts, hands and feet and although we may try desperately to ignore it, grief hangs like a heavy wet cloak. Wanting to toss this heavy cloak of loss aside, the idea of welcoming sorrow seems out of the question. Yet the only way to lighten its burden is to dive into its mystery and try to understand it. When we sing our sorrows we give them wings. We find, as the poet Wendell Berry says, “That the dark, too, blooms and sings.” Neither ignoring sorrow, nor dwelling in its seductive grasp will make it go away. In working with clients who are dealing with loss, we start by giving it the type of attention it deserves so we can send it on its way.

When you lose someone or something that you love, it can feel as though your world has ended. Everyone reacts to grief and loss differently. For example, one person may cope by denying that the loss has happened, another person may bury his/her hurt in busy behaviors (such as working), while others may be able to express their sadness in a direct manner. All are common responses to loss. Grief can prove difficult: it may abate and then reappear seemingly out of nowhere. Or in the case of couples, different grief reactions can result in significant conflict. Our work together can address the common feelings associated with grief, improve overall coping, and increase acceptance of the loss

Grief is a process that is different for everyone. It is a journey and it does take time. I want to hear your story. I want to hear about the person or focus of your loss. Eventually the hope is that you will get to the point where, even though you can't forget the pain, eventually it has less of an impact on your day-to-day life. Just being able to be heard and understood can be helpful. Rituals of closure can also help. You don't have to go through your grief alone. I do in-office and online counseling. You can self-register and self-schedule and mnonlinecounseling.com.

Losing a loved one is often a time of disruption and chaos, of sadness and loneliness. The predictability of "models of grieving" and their accompanying stages are often helpful, but can also be limiting in that no one person's process is just like anyone else's. When working with grief and loss, I help my client to remember the person they loved, and strive to meet my client where he or she at with their thoughts and feelings. The counseling may just be one or two sessions or may last over a year, depending on the circumstances and needs of my client.

I work a great deal with trauma issues. I consider trauma a loss. I offer EMDR therapy for trauma and loss issues and trauma for veterans. Patients who have suffered for years from anxiety or distressing memories, nightmares, insomnia, abuse or other traumatic events can now gain relief from a therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). Research shows that EMDR is rapid, safe and effective. EMDR does not involve the use of drugs or hypnosis. It is a simple, non-invasive patient-therapist collaboration in which healing can happen effectively. Many patients who have made slow progress in the past benefit greatly with EMDR.

Grief is sometimes a lonely journey. Each person reacts to loss in their own way and on their own time schedule. I approach psychotherapy for grief and loss as an opportunity to learn about the cycle of grief. I want to learn more about you and where you are at in the process. Similarly, I try to give practical tips for dealing with sad moments while supporting you through the process.