Great Couples Counseling in Montvale, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

I use the Gottman Method of couples counseling for couples, whether you're partners or married, this approach has been backed by 40 years of research to be successful. It includes an extensive intake process since each couple is unique, a feedback session, and from there specified exercises and tools to target the areas of your relationship that can be improved.

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.

I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life. Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life.

Art prides in helping many couples achieve the goals they aspire for their lives. Our intense relational skill building approach has succeeded when many other treatments have failed. Why? Clients get couples therapy along with anger management treatment; a two-for-one treatment at no extra cost that no one else offers. Expressions of anger usually accompany difficulties couples face. Give yourself opportunities that will save your marriage. Call us!! Please watch these video's it can only help http://www.yourtango.com/2015257107/does-fighting-mean-your-marriage-is-doomed-video#ixzz3R5CnBIi7 # 2 video http://www.yourtango.com/2013196704/marriage-advice-relationship-expert-video

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

We know that even the healthiest relationships experience times where they feel lonely, and like their love has run its course. It is easy to let the stress of work, family and unexpected life events you affect you. Couples counseling gives couples the tools to improve communication, strengthen intimacy and deal with conflict. When you attend couples counseling with Transformation Counseling Services, we dig deep beneath the surface to uncover what has caused unhealthy communication. Our therapist specialize in working with all types of couples in every type of relationship. We work with LGBTQ+ couples as well as couples in non-traditional relationships. Please contact us for more info

Marriage or couple relationships are a tug of war for power and control. When the leverage of the couple becomes one sided: disappointment, fears, worries and anger become predominant emotions. At this point, you may think about leaving because you can't understand your conflicted feelings. Remember, " You can't run away from yourself". It is essential to know your contribution to the dysfunction in the relationship. When you can face your feelings and behaviors patterns and take responsibility for your actions leaving the "blame" behind, the couple begins the repair process enabling respectful listening and communicating leading to healing feelings and setting the stage for intimacy.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

My approach to couples therapy focuses on helping partners rebuild trust, improve communication, and develop a deeper understanding of one another, particularly when addiction or compulsive behaviors have impacted the relationship. I bring specialized insight into how substance use and behavioral addictions affect both individuals and the partnership as a whole. I use evidence-based approaches to help couples identify patterns of conflict, strengthen accountability, and establish healthier ways of relating. Clients benefit from a structured, nonjudgmental space where both partners feel heard, learn practical tools for connection, and work toward restoring stability, intimacy, and respect.