Family Counseling Services in Old Tappan, NJ.

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. There was trust and you enjoyed each other's company. Now it feels like there is an invisible wall separating you. Hal's soothing wisdom offers you the opportunity to learn the vital building blocks leading to a trusting and loving relationship. Hal is an experienced and highly regarded couples counselor. He is also a published author and was invited to appear as a special guest on David Lettermans Late Night television program on 2 separate occasions. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available days, evenings and Sundays. Since 1975.

We are part of something larger than ourselves and that is why we tend to encounter difficulties in dealing with simple things in life such as learning how to live together, raising children or coping with adolescence. In Family Therapy, as opposed to Individual Therapy, we explore, understand and address issues family members present at their source. Emotional origins of personal conflicts get exposed throughout roles and dynamics; part of my work with families include to question and re-frame them to mobilize stagnation and create room for new experiences.

I enjoy doing both family counseling. I get to know each member of the family individually and the family dynamic, and how each person perceives the presenting problem. I am careful not to take sides and blame any one family member. All deserve respect. I work to learn more and to help you be more curious about whatever problem you are coming to me to resolve.

Family dynamics are complicated, & when things break down it affects everyone, not just the people in the middle of the conflict. I work with families using Structural Family Therapy, Emotionally Focused Family Therapy, & Cognitive Behavioral Family Therapy to help identify what's really driving the tension, improve how you communicate, & build healthier patterns that actually stick. That means looking at roles, boundaries, thought patterns, & emotional bonds that hold your family together or pull it apart. Every member's perspective matters here. The goal isn't to assign blame or pick sides. It's to help your family function in a way that supports everyone in it, individually and together.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Families can carry either unhealed wounds or trauma and/or may have unhealthy communication patterns. These issues can be significantly improved with family therapy. I create a safe space for all parties to share their feelings in a healthy way, without blame, focusing on their own personal experience. I then provide exercises and tools to help them gain understanding of one another and validate one another. This has often been markedly lacking and can be very healing to receive. We go back in time to understand how the current dynamic in the family developed and with that understanding, how it can be shifted into a healthier dynamic.

Individuals can learn about how their family dynamics impacted life experiences and shaped thoughts and belief systems. Clients can begin healing from emotionally immature parents and learn emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to navigate emotional experiences and relationship. Clients can recognize patterns within relationships and learn how to cultivate healthier relationships.

The journey of life is filled with joy, disappointments, loss and renewal. Integrative Healing Family Therapy@ helps a child, adolescent and adult to find the strength to review life's troubling issues and to form new perceptions and change behaviors. It is essential to view the presented problems and pain as part of a larger system (famly of origin and extended family). The therapist connects with individual issues and personality characteristics to appreciate the individuals as well as the family's contribution to dysfunction. Therapist respects individual and family contexts and works with the family members to resolve issues where new boundaries and healthier interactions are attained.

Family therapy focuses on relationshipswithin the family unit, and takes place with other family members present. My approach is to work individual first, and then bring in the family together so we can work-out what is working or what is not working. Individual counseling works because we can first see if there are any personal issues first, then bring it to family sessions.

Family therapy looks at the entire family system—parents, children, extended family members—to identify strengths and problematic behaviours. I collaborate with families on strategies for utilizing their own capabilities for resolving problems, and on developing effective communication and problem-solving skills for preventing conflicts. I specialize in working with families of teenagers, which is an age that can be challenging for both the teenagers and their parents.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation were given; family therapy fills in the blanks.

My approach to family therapy centers on strengthening communication, rebuilding trust, and helping each member understand their role within the family system, especially when addiction or compulsive behaviors have created strain or disconnection. I bring specialized knowledge of how substance use and behavioral addictions impact not just the individual, but the entire family dynamic. I use evidence-based strategies to address patterns such as enabling, conflict avoidance, or codependency, while promoting accountability and healthy boundaries. Families benefit from a supportive, structured environment where all voices are heard, skills are developed, and lasting change can take root.

Families who come to Emerge redefine their goals individually and as a family unit. They gain an understanding of where their feelings and behaviors stem from and what they need to change. Within a matter of months families begin to see the growth and change that once was stagnant because they have now learned to communicate with one another through effective listening and reflective responding.