Great Couples Counseling in Franconia, VA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Your relationship with your partner is the most important relationship in your life. Relationship issues touch every area of our lives. Learning healthy relationship skills is a fundamental building block of a successful life. Through therapy, you will learn how to achieve intimacy, manage conflict, how to give and receive love, and to create the relationship you have always wanted.

We specialize in helping couples, using Emotionally Focused Therapy. This is a complex approach which helps couples (of all sorts) to understand the deep need for safety and connection we all have, innately. When we feel repeatedly disappointed in the connection, or a serious breach such as an affair occurs, people react with protective anger, protesting the loss. Unfortunately, that angry protest often drives the more reticent partner farther away, leaving the first one even more desperate. We help people see that the unhappy cycle they are caught in is responsible for their suffering. And then we help them to find and share their more vulnerable feelings, creating a positive and affirming cycle....

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Every relationship has its challenges. Sometimes it takes an outside person to help you and your partner work through these challenges in an empathic and objective way. I use techniques that have been proven to work. Together, we will create a trusting and safe environment where you and your partner can talk openly about the issues that divide you. I don’t take sides or place blame. Instead, I work to understand each of you as individuals and as a couple. Our work will focus on building better communication skills, having more positive experiences as a couple, and coping more effectively with challenges. Together, you and your partner can build a stronger relationship.

Sometimes a couple reaches a place where they need to work on resolving different conflict in their relationship. There may be communication issues and the ability to make thoughtful decisions about the relationship is lost. I use the Gottman approach to help you identify where the major issues are and interventions to help improve communication. I will be your neutral mediator, I do not take sides. My focus will be on the relationship and both of you will get time to give your story. The couple will have an opportunity to talk through the issues and at times figure out what the issues are.

Are you engaged and need premarital counseling? Or, perhaps you are married and simply "fell out of love". Is there an infidelity that needs to be forgiven, and the desire to repair the marriage? Is arguing the norm between the two of you? Through faith-based counseling a healthier "couple" will emerge and manifest. In a nonjudgmental and safe environment, exploration will take place to identify and eradicate the problematic circumstances. I look forward to working with you, and I applaud you for taking the first step toward a happier state of co-existence! Let's start your tomorrow today.

Learning that one's spouse or partner has been living a "secret" sexual life can very quickly lead to the dissolution of a marriage or relationship. I work with couples to help heal the damage that one spouse has done to the marriage and family. Couples therapy can also be helpful in helping couples heal from the damage caused by a spouse's anger issues.

There are two most basic fears of intimacy that we all have: one is fear of abandonment, the other is fear of being taken over, of losing my autonomy. In a relationship, people often become polarized with one clinging and the other seeming distant. With awareness of our fears and how to take care of ourselves and each other, we will bring out the best in each other. Everyone knows how to speak and listen, right? Not so. The most difficult skills to learn are to speak self-responsibly about your own experience and to truly listen and understand the other person's experience even when you don't like it. To learn these skills enables love. I can help.

Given the many challenges that can lead to divorce (money problems, adultery, differences in raising children, etc.) the wisest thing couples can do is to seek Christian counseling before they say "I do." No matter how solid a couple’s relationship may be, problems and differences will inescapably arise. Therefore, pre-marital counseling really operates as the best security system a couple could ever purchase. Our Christian counselors can be beneficial by familiarizing couples with targeted areas of conflict that often lead to divorce. These areas are: • Communication • In-Laws • Money/finances • Sexuality • Spiritual Intimacy • Roles (delegation of responsibilities)

Training and experience matter for couples therapy. Therapists should not choose sides. We can help you work through difficult issues with better communication and understanding of how and why you experience conflict. Your relationship patterns are our focus. We will meet with you together, then individually, and then come back together with a plan.

One of the most prevaling issues with one or both is to not feel "heard". Much emphasis has to be on the word "feelings". If one or the other has been abused in some way, they are very sensitive to "feelings". The word "being" is a key for stabilization of the relationship. I have done much research on the "Keys to Life" and one of the necessities is to trust. Listening and trusting are probably the glue that holds any relationship together and is foundational. A couple learning their primary function is not about themselves, but the common good of the family unit. After all, what will be your legacy? What will you be known for?

I help couples develop skills and behaviors to better understand each other, resolve conflicts and communicate effectively. My approach is educational and practical, and it will help you find ways to increase intimacy, marital satisfaction and happiness. I offer services to people in a wide spectrum, from those who are looking for help with difficult relationship issues to others who are looking for relationship enrichment.

I work with couples to help them create new and stronger avenues of communication--allowing them to find, once again, the joy each partner had in the other. Whether work has stressed your relationship, or children have created the gap, we can reimagine ways to find closer connections. Perhaps you feel as if you're roommates more than a couple. Or one of you has been tempted to stray--or has strayed--but you want to do the work to come back together. Therapy helps you find the new ways you need to communicate, leading to a stronger bond between you.