Anger Management and Counseling in Carlsbad, CA.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Clients from various backgrounds take many different approaches to think about, feel and express anger. However, when anger negatively impacts one’s relationships, it is important to explore what is contributing to an unhealthy experience of anger. In my collaboration with clients, we venture out to explore the conscious and unconscious factors that may need to be brought to light, in the context of perhaps other biopsychosocial (biological, psychological or social) factors that may need attention. Clients who learn to understand, better identify and manage their impulses, cultivate insight and explore opportunities to practice developing skills to have an improved sense of self-mastery.

I help clients understand that anger often points to some other issue that may need their attention, then teaching them the skills to recognize and attend that issue effectively. Emotions often occur in clusters, like constellations of stars in the sky. When anger occurs, fright might be an underlying cause. Usually the angry person is not aware of feeling afraid, but is very aware of fury. Another example could be when boundaries are violated. We get angry when someone "steps on our toes". Then the task is to reset the boundary, not just "manage" anger.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

From road rage to violence to loud name-calling, acting on your anger does not have to continue indefinitely. If you are motivated and able to trust your therapist, then Thomas can help you overcome your anger management problems today. Once you become more comfortable with deeply feeling all of your angry impulses, you can stop acting on your anger. It is counter-intuitive, but true. Contact Thomas Schmierer, Catholic Therapist, LMFT today to set up your first session and learn more.

Is your anger interfering with your relationships at home or at work? Understanding your triggers can help! Working together, we will slow down your experience, recognize your triggers, use mindfulness to be with these in a healthy way, and be on the road to helping you to regulate your emotions. There is help available! Contact me for a free phone consultation.