Anger Management and Counseling in Olivenhain, CA.

Do you have difficulty managing and expressing anger? Anger is an important emotion but is often communicated in a way that interferes with relationships. When anger is stored up and not resolved, it often magnifies into greater frustration that is not easily controlled. I have tools to help you process anger and express it in ways you can be heard and understood.

For some, anger can be a difficult emotion to control. Learn skills to be in control of your anger rather than having your anger control you. If you are someone who struggles with managing anger and other negative emotions, Dr. Peck can teach you effective coping strategies to regulate your emotions to prevent emotions from becoming negative actions. Emotion regulation strategies can both prevent upswings in negative emotion and teach you effective ways to tolerate painful emotions without acting on them. Skills taught are based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy, biofeedback training, and behavioral relaxation skills.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Does it seem that your anger controls and overwhelms you? Has it gotten in the way of the relationships that are most important to you? I can help you unpack the reasons for your anger and help you to understand it's roots. I can also help equip you with strategies and skills that will help you to control it. Find freedom from the bondage of unresolved anger!

Anger can stem from many sources and momentary or brief bouts of anger are normal ways of generating the energy to defend and protect oneself and one's family. But when anger and outbursts are out of proportion to a situation, or are frequent or too easily provoked, then anger can be a serious problem. Managing anger just as managing other strong emotions is done by first recognizing the early signals or triggers, such as unfairness, feeling offended, intrusions, or frustration. Then to develop alternative ways to respond, such as postponing or delaying a response, or rapid self-calming.

Understanding anger and its components can transform your relationship to others and yourself. Through increased clarity about the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that create and maintain anger states you can learn to create the space and conditions needed to release anger and create a more peaceful and compassionate approach towards yourself and others. Anger can be a powerful motivator when clearly understood. Seeing the innocence in another's behavior can prevent the old habits of blame and resentment that have a poisonous effect on relationships and on ourselves. Developing patience and compassion can contribute to the growth of happiness in ourselves and in others.

I help clients understand that anger often points to some other issue that may need their attention, then teaching them the skills to recognize and attend that issue effectively. Emotions often occur in clusters, like constellations of stars in the sky. When anger occurs, fright might be an underlying cause. Usually the angry person is not aware of feeling afraid, but is very aware of fury. Another example could be when boundaries are violated. We get angry when someone "steps on our toes". Then the task is to reset the boundary, not just "manage" anger.

I specialize in Anger Management. Controlling anger can be a challenge. Anger is a protective response that indicates some kind of violation has occurred. It is a secondary emotion, meaning that there is always a more vulnerable feeling underneath such as hurt or sadness. It is helpful to learn how to express the primary emotion underneath the anger. It is also helpful to learn strategies to be able to take a break and walk away before things get out of control. There are usually triggers that get activated in the present but are fueled from the past. I also use techniques to help release the anger from the original event so that you can respond more calmly in the present.

If you have been confronted by others that you have a "problem with anger", it certainly is worth taking a look. What most people don't know, is that those struggling with anger management are most often merely reacting to stress, anxiety, shame, fear, or depression. In men, depression is often experienced more as irritability than as sadness. While you may not know how to make the change others are asking for, be assured that with the right help, you certainly can make very meaningful change, and enjoy the result. Don't for a moment think that controlling your anger means you don't get to be heard. You will enjoy the experience of really being heard and respected.

Anger can control our lives and destroy relationships. Often anger is an emotional response to unmet needs in our lives, sometimes beginning from when we were children. I work with my clients to help them recognize their unmet needs, the source of their anger, and to identify the different kinds of anger they may be experiencing. At the same time, we work to together in a safe and non-judgmental environment to learn how to manage anger, focusing on one's own responsibility and building a healthy sense of self.

Do you have angry outbursts that leave you feeling frustrated with yourself? Do you feel stuck and unsure if you can change? Are you looking for more than methods to 'manage' your anger? I help people with anger issues to deal with the emotions that trigger the anger -- such as hurt, fear or shame. When those deeper issues are dealt with, people no longer 'go from zero to sixty' and are able to feel good about how they react to stress. I look forward to working with you.

Anger is a valid feeling. Anger is not bad. How we express anger can be either healing or damaging. I provide a safe-place to express and therapeutically process anger, identify triggers to anger, and learn healthy ways to express anger without hurting ourselves or others. Through the therapeutic exploration of anger, one can discover the deeper underlying feeling and address those feelings in a healthy and safe environment.

Sometimes bursts of anger seem to come out of nowhere. Other times you might have a sense that your anger is simmering just below the surface. Anger can be destructive to your health, your relationships, your children and your career. I can help you not only with ways to control your anger, but also discovering and healing the reasons underneath the angry outbursts. Life can be more peaceful, and I’d like to help.