Anger Management and Counseling in Ramona, CA.

Often anger is a form of protest of some injustice that has been done. The adaptive action tendency when one is flooded with anger is to help one assert themselves with an advocacy of self in healthy ways. Managing your anger vs. having your anger manage you is a way to be in healthy control of yourself which will benefit your close relationships with others and within yourself.

Anger is often treated as something to control, but it can also point to hurt, fear, boundaries, unmet needs, frustration, or feeling misunderstood. In therapy, we slow down enough to notice what happens in your body, emotions, thoughts, and relationships when anger rises. From there, we work on clearer expression, better regulation, and more conscious choices in the moments that matter.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

Anger is a normal human emotion. The manner in which individuals exhibit their emotions, particularly anger can be constructive or destructive. If individuals are able to constructively channel their anger, the experience and management of anger leads to neutral or positive outcomes. However, if an individual manifests their anger in a unhealthy manner, it can negatively affect any facet of their lives from their personal relationships to their professional lives. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is key to learning to effectively manage anger. With this approach, clients learn to identify and substitute unhealthy trigger thoughts with healthy thoughts and to utilize anger-reducing strategies.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

I believe anger is a secondary emotion, covering other feelings such as grief, depression, anxiety, and/or hurt. Often times anger management is a signal for a need for trauma work, which can include explore prior experiences that felt stuck or emotionally taxing. Often times when others are angry, it's the only way they can feel heard-- having anger is not the problem, it's, what we do with the anger is what needs to be explored as appropriate or not.

Anger can control our lives and destroy relationships. Often anger is an emotional response to unmet needs in our lives, sometimes beginning from when we were children. I work with my clients to help them recognize their unmet needs, the source of their anger, and to identify the different kinds of anger they may be experiencing. At the same time, we work to together in a safe and non-judgmental environment to learn how to manage anger, focusing on one's own responsibility and building a healthy sense of self.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger has a way of arriving faster than thought and leaving regret in its wake: harsh words you can't take back, a tension others have started to walk around. If that's familiar, there's nothing shameful about it, and it can change. In our work, we'll get serious about it out together: what sets it off, what it's defending, and what it might be expressing of deeper feelings. Much of what drives anger sits just out of view, and bringing it into words tends to take the heat out of it. As you come to understand your own reactions, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond. I've guided many people from explosive reactions to real composure, and I'm confident we can do the same. Let's begin!

To externalized emotions will reduce anger. Anger held in internally hurts. I will assist you in developing a means to solutions and resolution without you feeling the pain from anger. Working at coping and letting go of highly intense emotions will lead you to emotional freedom with the ultimate goal being emotional wisdom. It is not always what we say to another, but rather how we say it.