Great Couples Counseling in Bermuda Dunes, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I fix broken relationships. I first see the couple and hear their presenting issues. I am looking at how they communicate with each other, what their patterns are, and where the relationship is broken. I get a background on each individual to understand what each party brings into the relationship and ascertain how they each experience the other. What is very effective is for each party to understand not only what they bring into the relationship but also what effect it has on their partner. The presenting problem is typically not the real issue. Educating each partner about their individual dynamcs and how they trigger their partner is the beginning to recovery.

I work with couples on a deeper level focusing on the long-held internal beliefs about ourselves that get in the way of healthy relationships. Uncovering these beliefs and becoming aware that we have choices as adults provides the opportunity to change and improve our relationships. I work with the process, not the content, and with the underlying feelings we protect with defenses such as anger, jealousy, sadness and shutting down. Change is possible and challenging. This is not for the "weak of heart."

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php