Great Couples Counseling in La Quinta, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Think back when a conversation did not go well. Was what you said not understood? What we say is as important as how we say it. Since communication styles differ from person to person, it can be one of the trickiest aspects of communicating. Some of us tend to react immediately and emotionally, rather than thinking about what was said. Others simply shut down. Improving relationships is as easy as learning, or relearning, how to talk to each other.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Do you feel like your relationship is at a standstill? Are you and your significant other stuck in the same argument? Is there infidelity? Do you feel like you and your partner are growing apart? Do you want and desire more intimacy? These issues can be improved, changed, and can get better, with support, no matter how big or small. With couples therapy, you’ll learn how to communicate your feelings and needs and get what you want from your relationship, in my couple’s therapy sessions, I help people develop the necessary skills to maintain love. If any of the above relates to your relationship, contact me today for a free consultation.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I work with couples on an emotional level focusing on long-held internal beliefs about how we view the world and each other. These beliefs often get in the way of healthy relationships. Uncovering these beliefs and becoming aware that we have choices as adults, provides the opportunity to change and improve our relationships. I work with the process, what happens between the couple, and with the underlying feelings we protect with defenses such as anger, jealousy, sadness and shutting down. I have seen couples and individuals change in weeks when they can be more honest with their feelings with each other. Call me at 760-766-1622 or email me.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.