Great Couples Counseling in Cheviot Hills, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

My approach is to help each partner see clearly where s/he stands, what s/he stands for, and what meaning the relationship holds. How do these values come into play in the relationship? How do our own expectations, and those of society at large, influence the relationship? Often, understanding the role of a relationship in our own lives reveals possible ways forward. Sometimes, it shows us that moving forward might not be what we want to do.

I specialize in couples and marriage counseling. My most successful approach involves helping couples identify and then change circular patterns of interacting with each other. To change these patterns, I teach new effective communication skills as well as new problem-solving skills in a 9-step program called "Conflict to Connection."

Couples counseling is an amazing experience. Your relationship is my client and I will work closely with both of you to identify the relational dance you participate in, and how we can interrupt the negative patterns you engage in, and instead promote healthier ways of connecting and attaching. Couples therapy can be a really fun and pleasurable experience where you get to know more about your partner and also about your self. Couples therapy works in a stage process. I will be there along each step of the way helping to make sure that you guys are connecting. I will help to empower you both so that you may enhance and strengthen your most important relationship!

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Couples therapy often triggers roadblocks in communication. In being shaped by prior relationships, we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success. My specialty is interracial couples; regardless of if you both come from different backgrounds, the goal is to create shared meaning that is co-constructed. I can help with this process.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Married, dating, heterosexual, gay, or bisexual? I specialize in emotional intimacy, sex, addiction, and trauma, any of which can derail a relationship. You can heal your relationship or end it. I can help either way. Improve communication and handle conflicts better. Get your emotional baggage out of the way so it doesn’t hurt your relationship. Better for the couple and especially better when there are kids. Have kids and you’re divorcing? You’re still tied together. We can make that less damaging for everyone. Kids do better when their divorced parents work together for the kids’ best interest – dealing with emotions and communication better and not putting kids in the middle.

The main thing I notice couples coming in for is to work on trust issues, communication problems, and lack of intimacy within the relationship. This can manifest into anger, affairs, shutting down, and a number of other behaviors. I work with couples FIRST on what does work, so that they can build upon skills they already possess within their relationship. 2: Teaching basic listening skills so that partners feel heard. 3: Teaching the couples how to communicate without attacking. 4: implementing those skills at home. Therapy is much more complex than this, and there are many more aspects of communication, but building strengths is very important to relationship success.

I have worked with hundred's of couples over the last 20 years. Each couple is unique in their own right which means there is no one way to "fix" a problem. Our deepest longings and hopes emerge in a couples relationship. Oftentimes we are working out unmet needs and hopes carried forward from our early family relationships to our present couple relationship. Problems become increasingly complex and difficult to overcome when we don't know what these issues are all about. Couples remain stuck in conflict not because of what they know, but what they don't know or can't recognize. The work in therapy is to help couples recognize unhealthy patterns of relating and introduce novelty.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Is your relationship feeling strained? Couples therapy sessions offer a safe and supportive space for you and your partner to openly communicate and work through challenges. I'll guide you in identifying unhealthy communication patterns and developing skills for expressing yourselves effectively. We'll work together to rebuild trust, strengthen your connection, and create a more fulfilling relationship for both of you.

When working with couples, I focus both on specific issues you come to therapy to address as well as the root cause of those issues. Issues contributing to distress among couples can include their family of origin, outside stressors, or past relationships. These issues (among others) can often cause marital distress, causing people to feel like their partner is living in a different reality than them. I work with couples to explore the root of the issues you face in order to increase fulfillment and joy in your relationship.

Research shows that couples come to therapy an average of 6 YEARS later than when the problems started; accordingly, they can be very hostile at the beginning of treatment. I work with highly conflict couples to reduce the reactivity through making them aware of the meaning they make of their partner's behavior in relationship. I also do discernment counseling for couples who are undecided if they want to stay in their marriage; pre-marital counseling for couples who are considering the important step of marriage; blended family couples counseling for couples who are coming together with children from previous relationships; and coaching to help divorcing couples to uncouple amicably.