Great Couples Counseling in Hercules, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Is your relationship at a stalemate? Or are you finding yourselves drifting apart, or arguing without really hearing each other? Working with a calm, neutral third party, the two of you can explore destructive patterns and learn new ways to improve intimacy. Couples counseling does not mean your relationship is over! It is only the beginning of a new stage. Many couples find greater closeness after working through their difficulties in therapy and finding new reasons to love each other.

Are you dating and having problems in communication and other areas? Getting counseling while you are in the dating phase can prevent you from developing unhealthy habits that keep you from moving to the next level in your relationship. Couples Counseling can help you learn those skills needed to enhance your relationship.

Do you and your loved one seem to be moving farther and father apart? Do you notice that you are arguing more, feeling more distant, or feeling cut off completely from this person that you had once found so much joy in? The relationship with a significant other is one of the most profound that you will ever experience. It is responsible for keeping us centered emotionally in stressful times, and it is responsible for helping us to feel joy and connection in the world. Learn to communicate with your partner and how to get your needs met and figure out the primary needs of your partner. Rebuild trust and friendship and learn skills and tools to avoid the biggest relationship killers!

Couples therapy can be intimidating to start. There's a lot of anxiety that comes up for people about things getting even worse or one person being labeled as the problem or, worse yet, that it will lead to breaking up. But I have treated a great many couples over 25 years and that is almost never what happens. Although, yes, the process is sometimes very painful, I never "take sides" and blame one person in the couple and usually the couple feels better after the session. I have seen people come in with problems that made them feel like enemies and after therapy they feel like friends and lovers again. Do call for couples therapy now and don't let the problems keep on getting worse.

Relationships are the most complicated, yet most rewarding things in life. They make us feel excited, happy, and high on life one minute while maintaining the ability bring us pain, frustration, and emotional distress the next. For all the beauty that comes with companionship and commitment, there are also times when you have to sacrifice things you may not want to for the sake of the relationship. Furthermore, maintaining one’s own identity while growing with another person can be a lot to manage. I help couples come to a much more meaningful understanding of how each person is showing up in the relationship so that they can make healthier choices towards a more fulfilling future together.

My work focuses on a combination of skills training in how happy couples talk and argue, and the creation of safety and opportunities to create "heart-to-heart" conversations to restore and revitalize intimacy in your relationship. It is these two approaches that are supported convincingly by a large body of research, and it requires a therapist who acts as coach and referee. I don't let couples fight their same old fights in my office - the whole point is to get past the same old arguments and have the deeper and more useful conversations that have been sidetracked.

I will work with you at whatever stage you are in as a couple. You will develop better communication skills. I will help you both get to a place of repair and mutual understanding. We will look at what supports forgiveness and healing. You will become stronger and more connected as a couple. I will help educate you as to what contributes to a healthy relationship. I will coach and guide you as you take risks and try new ways of communicating.

I specialize is working with couples of all relationship configurations (poly, monogamous, queer, hetero, etc.) and multi-heritage and mixed race couples. I hold our relationship, the unconscious dynamics between members of the couple, and the couples--experiences, identities, struggles, successes and strengths--in the context of each persons social-culutral-familiar locations in society. I want to better understand what each person is needing to express feel and work through, in order for healing to take place between you and your partner(s).

I work with couples that are struggling to connect emotionally, have issues with communication, and want to create new relational dynamics that increase their connection. My approach is warm and collaborative and I work hard to carefully listen to each person to provide the therapeutic interventions necessary to increase understanding, communication, mutual interest, curiosity, and awareness. In my experience couples enter treatment with varying degrees of ambivalence and desire for change. I work hard to create a safe environment to explore each persons concerns and desires so we can better collaborate towards working together to generate movement and change.

We don't always have examples of how to have a successful or healthy relationship, and sometimes find ourselves without the tools to navigate challenges within our own relationships. In working with me you can expect to build tools for truly and actively listening to your partner while also learning how to provide your partner with the same support. These tools can be safely mastered in my office, and then taken with you for continued use in your relationship.

Relationships are hard. We need to acknowledge that, then address issues specific to your relationship. The most critical needs of any relationship are trust and friendship. I work to bring those into the relationship and find ways to foster them to make them prevalent over conflicts and everyday struggles. Communication is often the presenting issue with couples, however, IF an underlying warmth is present, conflicts are addressed and managed in a gentler, more loving manner. Couples need to find shared meaning in their lives and become each others' refuge. I explore with you desires, dreams, regrets, wants, etc.. Call me today and begin the journey back to your passion / friendship.

Many of the couples I see come to me for the following reasons: they have become more like roommates rather than a romantic couple, inability to trust one another, jealousy in the relationship, unfulfilling sexual or emotional intimacy, intense yelling and arguing, general dissatisfaction, an episode of infidelity, navigating divorce or separation. It can feel both hopeful and scary for couples to explore these issues in their relationship. Our work will explore why your relationship is exhibiting its pattern, give you tips and strategies to abate and extinguish unhealthy cycles, and achieve and maintain the relationship you want.

I work with couples of all kinds, and in all stages of relationship. I help couples focus on the "We" in their relationship, develop strengths and improve their communication. I also help couples pause behavior that is having a negative impact and develop new perspectives and behaviors that nourish their connection. Whether couples are married or unmarried or considering marriage, whether they have been together a few months or many years, I help them make their relationship a more loving, less painful and more enjoyable place to be.