Great Couples Counseling in Ross, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

As we know, romantic relationships can bring out the best and worst of us. Working with couples involves being open to identifying and experiencing those parts of ourselves that get triggered. In this way, we allow the relationship to be an opportunity for working through patterns that block intimacy and develop new ways of being that deepen communication, allow for more honest, open expression and enable each partner to be a healing agent for the other. This is a pathway of healing and growth- a vehicle for enhancing capacity for love (including self-love) and soul connection.

If you are having difficulties as a couple, psychotherapy can help you: (1) Understand one another better (2) Identify more satisfying, fulfilling and compassionate ways of relating (3) Understand the correlation between your early family lives and the ways you view or experience your partnership or marriage (4) Learn to community more from your heart (5) Develop a more collaborative approach to conflicts (6) Acknowledge and draw upon your strengths (7) Become more intimate (8) Cope with life's hardships and challenges IF YOU THINK PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN HELP, PLEASE CALL ME: Rawna Cheri Romero, LMFT 415-533-9724

I subscribe to the John Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools, creating love maps and building mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas as I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain selfesteem that they can bring out in to the world.

I love working with couples who are struggling in their relationship as I find the complexity within the dynamic to be reflected of one of our most core dilemmas as humans: how do we give and receive the love we so deeply want, when the risk for disappointment and pain is so great? I believe there is a solution to be uniquely discovered by each couple facing this question and I utilize clarity, compassion and curiosity to help you both to find it!

All couples face challenges in a relationship. What makes some relationships last and others that don't is a combination of communication skills and commitment to making the marriage work. Many marriages test people to their limit, but that doesn't mean it's a bad marriage. If you are able to hang in there and work with a trusted professional, you can expand and grow into a more loving and nurturing person.

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

Our work with couples focuses on rebuilding communication and understanding in the relationship. Our clinical focus is on three entities; you, your partner, and the relationship. We consider the relationship our client, and because of that, we start by getting a history of the relationship, how it developed, and what’s happened to build it up, and what’s happened to weigh it down. Couples counseling works best when both you and your partner show up in a compassionate, honest, and with the intent to reflect and improve yourself in the relationship.

I help couples move their relationship forward through difficult times, into a place of support, love, and mutual understanding. As a psychologist with over a decade of experience working with couples, I have built up considerable respect for the concept of multiple points of view. The benefit of couples therapy is that you have a therapist who is on your relationship's side. Too often what one partner intends to convey, is not how it is received by the other. I am particularly skilled at helping partners phrase and ask for things in ways that the other person can hear and digest. I am happy to speak with you over the phone for a free initial consultation. Give me a call today!

Many of the couples I see come to me for the following reasons: they have become more like roommates rather than a romantic couple, inability to trust one another, jealousy in the relationship, unfulfilling sexual or emotional intimacy, intense yelling and arguing, general dissatisfaction, an episode of infidelity, navigating divorce or separation. It can feel both hopeful and scary for couples to explore these issues in their relationship. Our work will explore why your relationship is exhibiting its pattern, give you tips and strategies to abate and extinguish unhealthy cycles, and achieve and maintain the relationship you want.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

I work with couples that are struggling to connect emotionally, have issues with communication, and want to create new relational dynamics that increase their connection. My approach is warm and collaborative and I work hard to carefully listen to each person to provide the therapeutic interventions necessary to increase understanding, communication, mutual interest, curiosity, and awareness. In my experience couples enter treatment with varying degrees of ambivalence and desire for change. I work hard to create a safe environment to explore each persons concerns and desires so we can better collaborate towards working together to generate movement and change.

I focus on authenticity in my practice, and for me this is especially helpful when it comes to couples work. That most problems in relationships come from people being afraid to fully reveal themselves to their partners, for fear they won't be fully accepted and loved. And that by working on open and honest communication tools, and how to really share the depth of their beings with each other, we can create relationships of real intimacy that are healthy and nourishing.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Couples therapy lights me up! Not feeling heard, understood, valued or supported? Toxic conflict? Withdrawing? Longing for help? Utilizing evidence-based modalities such as EFT & powerful tools from PACT, NVC, IFS & CBT, I help couples create a secure bond, a safe haven from life's challenges, rather than an added burden. You'll learn to trust, support, hear & "be there" for each other. Discover attachment styles, the brain & nervous system, survival parts and trauma that may be hurting your relationship. Develop critical self-awareness, accountabiity & WE instead of just ME mentality. Turn towards each other instead of away with authenticity, compassion, attunement & understanding.

When a relationship has become strained or distant and you are not feeling close to your partner, you may feel hopeless that things will ever change. I believe both you and your spouse want to feel understood and that your needs will be met and respected. I think both of you want a happy and loving environment that you come home to at the end of the day. When there is too much alienation or conflict, it may be time to see a therapist for couples counseling. Counseling may help improve empathy and understanding. It will help both of you talk to each other, and will help you listen to what is being said. Counseling can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and return to love.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Each couple has a unique dynamic. I work hard to ensure that both individuals in the couple are heard and understood so that the couple feels safe to work on their communication goals and meet their intimacy needs. Relationships change as life circumstances change - new couples, couples considering marriage, addition of children to the dynamic, individual job challenges, death of parents, financial difficulties all impact the health of the couple. Come discuss the issues and improve the relationship bond.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php