Great Couples Counseling in Kentfield, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

Couples therapy can be intimidating to start. There's a lot of anxiety that comes up for people about things getting even worse or one person being labeled as the problem or, worse yet, that it will lead to breaking up. But I have treated a great many couples over 25 years and that is almost never what happens. Although, yes, the process is sometimes very painful, I never "take sides" and blame one person in the couple and usually the couple feels better after the session. I have seen people come in with problems that made them feel like enemies and after therapy they feel like friends and lovers again. Do call for couples therapy now and don't let the problems keep on getting worse.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

I have been working with couples for 15 years and I use a combination of different styles when working with couples. I am informed by the work of John Gottman (Gottman Technique) and also by Emotionally Focused Therapy. I help clients learn communication techniques and lower their incidents of fighting. I help clients get to the source of their marital dissatisfaction or relationship struggles. I also enjoy working with clients who identify as LGBTQ and clients who are in poly relationships.

Many of the couples I see come to me for the following reasons: they have become more like roommates rather than a romantic couple, inability to trust one another, jealousy present in the relationship, unfulfilling sexual or emotional intimacy, intense yelling and arguing, general dissatisfaction, an episode of infidelity. It can feel both hopeful and scary for couples to explore these issues in their relationship. Our work will explore why your relationship is exhibiting its pattern, give you tips and strategies to abate and extinguish unhealthy cycles, and achieve and maintain the relationship you want.

One of my main specialities is couples counseling. I work with couples of all varieties - not just romantic couples but any combination of two people who need help with their relationship; sisters, father and daughter, cousins, business partners. I also work with other types of couples such as gay and lesbian couples, transgender couples, polyamorous couples etc. I enjoy this work immensely and have helped many couples find more closeness, safety, compassion, ease and care for each other. About half of my clients are couples so I have a great deal of experience. No matter how old and deep the problems are in your relationship, I can help you finally move past these issues for good.

A sense of belonging happens when we feel truly seen by one who loves us, yet it is in the safety of belonging that much of our wounding begins to emerge. Patterns of relating created by attachment, separation, and loss formed during childhood form the foundation of self perception on physical, emotional, and psychological levels, significantly influencing and impacting our adult relationships. It is through these most intimate relationships that we find the greatest opportunity to heal our attachment wounds. Together we can identify, explore, and bring relief to the cycles of triggering that you and your partner(s) get caught in, creating a greater sense of connection and intimacy.

I truly enjoy working with couples. The connectivity (whether you feel it there at the time or not) and desire to share a life and join with one another is paramount. I work with all kinds of coupes, in every stage of life. Dating, pre- martial counseling, Married couples and separated. Couples can find what brought them together again and learn how to hear one another, touch each other, and grow old together. Counseling can provide you with new perspectives and positive options. Powerful strategies and tools are needed to break old patterns and change your way of life.

Are you feeling misunderstood? Hurt? Betrayed? Overwhelmed? Frustrated? Stuck? Unsatisfied? Or disappointed in your relationship? Relationship problems come in all shapes and sizes and are among the most common reasons that people come to therapy. If you are experiencing problems in your relationship; this can be an opportunity for growth. I specialize in helping individuals and couples overcome roadblocks in their relationships and move towards fulfillment through healing past hurt, cultivating self-understanding, identifying goals and values, and developing necessary skills to move forward.

Most couples come to therapy because they find it hard to communicate with each other. They want to resolve endless fights and avoid getting caught in fruitless arguments. When feelings are raw it can be so hard to feel close and end the negative cycle of blame and defensive withdrawal. In couple therapy, I help you feel safe to express yourself. You and your partner will learn to listen to each other with compassion and grow a shared understanding of what makes your relationship work. I use Emotionally Focused Therapy, an approach proven by extensive research to strengthen the emotional bond that is the heart of every relationship.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

I specialize is working with couples of all relationship configurations (poly, monogamous, queer, hetero, etc.) and multi-heritage and mixed race couples. I hold our relationship, the unconscious dynamics between members of the couple, and the couples--experiences, identities, struggles, successes and strengths--in the context of each persons social-culutral-familiar locations in society. I want to better understand what each person is needing to express feel and work through, in order for healing to take place between you and your partner(s).

We don't always have examples of how to have a successful or healthy relationship, and sometimes find ourselves without the tools to navigate challenges within our own relationships. In working with me you can expect to build tools for truly and actively listening to your partner while also learning how to provide your partner with the same support. These tools can be safely mastered in my office, and then taken with you for continued use in your relationship.