Great Couples Counseling in Kentfield, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

My work focuses on a combination of skills training in how happy couples talk and argue, and the creation of safety and opportunities to create "heart-to-heart" conversations to restore and revitalize intimacy in your relationship. It is these two approaches that are supported convincingly by a large body of research, and it requires a therapist who acts as coach and referee. I don't let couples fight their same old fights in my office - the whole point is to get past the same old arguments and have the deeper and more useful conversations that have been sidetracked.

When a relationship has become strained or distant and you are not feeling close to your partner, you may feel hopeless that things will ever change. I believe both you and your spouse want to feel understood and that your needs will be met and respected. I think both of you want a happy and loving environment that you come home to at the end of the day. When there is too much alienation or conflict, it may be time to see a therapist for couples counseling. Counseling may help improve empathy and understanding. It will help both of you talk to each other, and will help you listen to what is being said. Counseling can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and return to love.

I specialize is working with couples of all relationship configurations (poly, monogamous, queer, hetero, etc.) and multi-heritage and mixed race couples. I hold our relationship, the unconscious dynamics between members of the couple, and the couples--experiences, identities, struggles, successes and strengths--in the context of each persons social-culutral-familiar locations in society. I want to better understand what each person is needing to express feel and work through, in order for healing to take place between you and your partner(s).

Issues that can be worked on in couples counseling often stem from conscious and unconscious assumptions and expectations that each person has about the other. The individual sees the other through the lens of their upbringing and relationship history. I help couples unpack the complex and often tangled web of how each person is understood and misunderstood in the eyes of the other. In doing so, each partner can have a deeper understanding of themselves and their partner, generating compassion, clearer communication, and emotional space from pressing issues.

I focus my practice on supporting families (or key individuals within the family) facing issues related to separation, divorce, co-parenting and mixed/blended families. I work with couples who are going through the processes of separation and divorce, supporting them with being able to co-parent successfully. I can also work with parents as they re-partner, creating new blended/mixed families.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

Relationships are the most complicated, yet most rewarding things in life. They make us feel excited, happy, and high on life one minute while maintaining the ability bring us pain, frustration, and emotional distress the next. For all the beauty that comes with companionship and commitment, there are also times when you have to sacrifice things you may not want to for the sake of the relationship. Furthermore, maintaining one’s own identity while growing with another person can be a lot to manage. I help couples come to a much more meaningful understanding of how each person is showing up in the relationship so that they can make healthier choices towards a more fulfilling future together.

Couples therapy can be both scary and difficult, but it can be an essential component in creating a relationship dynamic that can last a lifetime. In working with couples, I use methodologies from both the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. In using these methods, couples are better able to understand their relationship dynamic, better understand issues or potential issues and discover ways to better work in relationship to one another.

I view relationship as a vehicle to support greater deepening and healing. It is in relationship that we see our deepest vulnerability, insecurity and unprocessed wounding. Where do we get more triggered than in our primary relationship? I believe that sharing the attitude of using the relationship as a vehicle to heal, allows couples to get on the same page as they work through their issues. It becomes less about who will win this argument and more about how the couple can support each other in healing. Together we can explore relationship dynamics and work toward creating a supportive environment for growth, transformation and healing.

I approach couples counseling from a collaborative stance that offers tangible results from the first session. My work empowers couples in distress to deeply understand and overcome the painful cycles of interaction between partners, as well as to address and heal these cycles' root causes. From there I help couples nurture and develop ever greater degrees of trust, intimacy and love between each other. I am passionate about my work with couples and believe deeply in the healing power of effective therapy.

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

One of my main specialities is couples counseling. I work with couples of all varieties - not just romantic couples but any combination of two people who need help with their relationship; sisters, father and daughter, cousins, business partners. I also work with other types of couples such as gay and lesbian couples, transgender couples, polyamorous couples etc. I enjoy this work immensely and have helped many couples find more closeness, safety, compassion, ease and care for each other. About half of my clients are couples so I have a great deal of experience. No matter how old and deep the problems are in your relationship, I can help you finally move past these issues for good.

I work with couples that are struggling to connect emotionally, have issues with communication, and want to create new relational dynamics that increase their connection. My approach is warm and collaborative and I work hard to carefully listen to each person to provide the therapeutic interventions necessary to increase understanding, communication, mutual interest, curiosity, and awareness. In my experience couples enter treatment with varying degrees of ambivalence and desire for change. I work hard to create a safe environment to explore each persons concerns and desires so we can better collaborate towards working together to generate movement and change.