Great Couples Counseling in Winters, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I subscribe to the John Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools, creating love maps and building mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas as I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain selfesteem that they can bring out in to the world.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I provide couples counseling, marriage counseling, pre-marital and blended family couples counseling. I use Gottman principals and emotional focused therapy approaches in helping you build stronger connections, foster effective communication, and overall create lives built and aligned together. For those that would like Christian couples counseling we will integrate biblical principals alongside therapeutic interventions.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

I work with couples of all kinds, and in all stages of relationship. I help couples focus on the "We" in their relationship, develop strengths and improve their communication. I also help couples pause behavior that is having a negative impact and develop new perspectives and behaviors that nourish their connection. Whether couples are married or unmarried or considering marriage, whether they have been together a few months or many years, I help them make their relationship a more loving, less painful and more enjoyable place to be.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Learning effective communication skills is often the focus of my work with couples. These skills often include learning how to be more supportive, loving and validatling of one another. Other skills that couples often request and benefit from learning include how to deeply listen to one another and how to resolve disagreements without becoming hurtful. Another often helpful skill is for each to learn to recognize when they are beginning to become overwhelmed and upset so they can request a brief break from the conversation. In this way the conversation remains calm and amicable. I look forward to helping you enrich your relationship.

I help couples in ambivalence, individuals recovering from past relationship or attachment wounds, and spouses or family members of addicted loved ones. Transform your marriage with deep connection. I help couples understand each other, heal individual wounds, and fostering a closeness like never before. I am trained in Gottman Method Couples Counseling, Emotional Focused Therapy, and IFS for couples.