Family Counseling Services in Santa Barbara, CA.

I have spent decades supporting children and families. Families come to therapy for many reasons such as behavioral concerns, communication issues, recovery from substance abuse or a trauma, becoming a blended family, and more. Depending on the ages of family members and the overall situation, I may suggest certain family therapy activities, play therapy, communication development, bond strengthening, and certain parenting skills. Each situation is unique, and we will work together to find what supports your family best.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

ith a deep understanding of familial relationships and dynamics, I create a safe and inclusive space where every member feels heard and validated. By facilitating open communication and fostering empathy, I assist families in resolving conflicts, strengthening bonds, and building healthier relationships. Through evidence-based interventions tailored to the family's specific needs, such as systemic therapy and solution-focused techniques, clients can expect to experience improved understanding, enhanced connection, and greater harmony within the family system. My aim is to empower families to navigate challenges together, fostering resilience and promoting long-term well-being for all members

We need our families. If your family is in danger of disconnecting or falling apart, let's work together to lean toward each other instead of away. No one family member is ever the cause of disfunction. We each must learn our responsibility in the mix. My approach to healing families is to help each member understand how they absorb stress, and explain it to the group in a way that will be heard. Our family is our home base. Let's keep it that way by learning empathy for each other's struggles.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

When you come to see me with your loved ones I will assist you in strengthen your bond and enhance your communication skills. My approach helps you to communicate your needs and wants effectively, without blame, so your vis-a- vis, be this a child, parent of your partner can actually hear you. I often will suggest that families increase their 'fun quotient' before we tackle what is not working; it makes the hard work go easy. I am aware that some family issues involve high conflict, specially if divorce or separation is involved. My first step then, is to talk about appropriate boundaries between family members, also I will educate you about parental alienation and its danger on the child.

Family relationships can be stressful and challenging. There may be anger, arguments, grief & loss, mental or physical illness, unresolved trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, financial or occupational challenges that create distress in the family system. Healthy family members have open, honest and compassionate communication. They hear, know and understand each other. They take responsibility and are accountable for their impact on each other. They show love and care through affection, attention, appreciation, being of service, spending quality time with and being there for each other. I guide you in developing the skills, qualities and habits needed to get your family to a better place!

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.