Anger Management and Counseling in Santa Barbara, CA.

I believe that we need to express our anger, to get it out of our bodies or it might adversely effect our physical health. I use a number of different tools, such as a baseball bat and pillows or bean bags to throw, to help clients to find constructive expressions of their angry feelings. There is always safety guidelines. Clients are initially often shy about using the bat or the bean bags but most always report great release and relieve when done. I also encourage journal writing about the unexpressed words and when appropriate letter writing to express the so far unsaid, even if it is from years ago.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you or is taking a toll on your personal relationships. Working collaboratively with me you can: Learn what anger is Identify what triggers your anger Recognize signs that you're becoming angry Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way Explore underlying feelings

Clients from various backgrounds take many different approaches to think about, feel and express anger. However, when anger negatively impacts one’s relationships, it is important to explore what is contributing to an unhealthy experience of anger. In my collaboration with clients, we venture out to explore the conscious and unconscious factors that may need to be brought to light, in the context of perhaps other biopsychosocial (biological, psychological or social) factors that may need attention. Clients who learn to understand, better identify and manage their impulses, cultivate insight and explore opportunities to practice developing skills to have an improved sense of self-mastery.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.