Grief and Loss Counseling in Corte Madera, CA.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I find that so much of my work as a psychotherapist involves helping people to grieve their losses, whether that loss is an actual death of a beloved family member or friend, or whether it is something less tangible, but no less impactful, such as the loss that comes from realizing that they were neglected as a child or made to feel unworthy or insignificant. I believe that one of the most important things I do as a therapist is to make space for my clients to grieve their losses so that they can free up stuck energy to invest in their present lives and relationships. For me this is one of the most sacred gifts of my profession, to be able to be there for this deeply important work

We know how to grieve, naturally, and there are times in every person's life that failing to grieve fully can cause significant emotional difficulties, which may seem unrelated. You can't completely grieve by yourself - you need someone to listen while you work out, and tell, the story of your loss. If we're isolated, or the people around us aren't able to listen, it's easy to get stuck in the sadness of the loss - or stuck running away from it, one way or another.

Although grief and loss are universal human experiences, there are many factors which can make it difficult to process. I offer a safe space to explore all that you are going through and feeling. Expressing all your complex feelings is healthy and can be so relieving. Repressed grief can make you physically or emotionally ill. Many losses are complicated with feelings of anger, guilt or the pain and confusion of unfinished business. Sometimes, when the loss is unexpected, shock can get in the way. Personal issues around ability or willingness to feel or show vulnerability can make it hard to grieve. I have many years of experience in offering safety and support to grieving clients.

Grieving is such a painful experience. Whether your grieving the loss of a beloved partner, friend or animal or grieving the loss of a job, a marriage, or a dream you had hoped for, our culture is not set up to take space to grieve. The messages we all get from society are about getting over it, picking up and moving on with our lives. Sometimes it's just not that easy and we need a place to process our grief with someone who is trained and skilled to be with us in our place of grief. Grieving loss is a process and I'm here to help you through it.

The good news is that there is effective therapy for grief, loss, and bereavement in Oakland. Therapy begins with having a safe place to be able to talk about how you really feel, with someone who can accept your pain without judgement or fear and with whom you can be yourself. EMDR and somatic interventions are excellent for those times when grief, loss, and bereavement involve complicated grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma. CBT offers research based help for depression and irrational thoughts about grief, loss, and bereavement. I offer these therapies to people who are grieving in Oakland. Call 415-820-1487 for a free phone consultation.

Each of us will experience grief and loss within our lives. Some losses can feel so huge that it can seem impossible to move on. I believe that each loss we experience can stir up emotions and feelings related to past losses. I provide a safe environment for you to explore your feelings of grief and loss. By making links between the past and the present and deeply listening and interpreting the possible origins of your grief we can open up the space needed for you to move forward.

Children express grief differently from adults and their grief can look different at various ages. For example an infant will experience the loss of a significant caregiver through his or her senses (father's cologne, mother's skin, nanny's voice). A school aged child may ask a lot of questions or not seem affected at all from the outside. While many children can be resilient, they are often the "forgotten mourners." Unresolved grief can lead to problems down the road.

Grief looks differently for different people. Grief needs its own time and can't be forced. Many contemporary cultures have forgotten their collective ways to face loss and to support grieving people through ritual and community. Therapy provides an ongoing compassionate relationship, a rock for you to return to again and again with your process. An ear that won't get tired of listening. Bringing presence to the grieving process allows healing and the rich rewards of a strong and open heart. You will feel joy and peacefulness again.

There is a deep instinctual basis for our strong need for other people in our lives. This need to be connected to others goes against what were taught; that happiness comes from being at peace with being able to be alone. It's simply not true. Peace of mind and happiness comes through our connection to community, especially that one special partner. When we lose someone close to us it can be overwhelming and devastating. This can cause us to have thoughts of despair and a belief we can't go on. I can help you feel willing to healing and start living again.

Having lost a son, I know from personal experience about grief and how to help people work through the stages of grief and loss. It is never easy, and I always approach the person seeking help with tremendous gentleness and compassion. Since everyone has a different response to loss I find that the best counseling is collaborative, finding a way together through what sometimes seems insurmountable. I also make myself available by phone on a daily basis. Especially in the early phase of grief such support can make a tremendous difference. Depending on the client's comfort level, I offer a wider, spiritual perspective and non-sectarian spiritual practices as well.

It can be a tremendous challenge to return to our daily life following a loss, and grieving does not have a time limit or expiration date. While our society may not be built to allow space for processing loss or grieving, in therapy with me you can expect to find all the space you need to move through your own process at your own pace. With my unwavering support, you will feel encouraged to authentically explore your grieving needs and to honor the gravity of your loss.

"Why can't I seem to shake this grief & loss like other people can?" you ask yourself. Chances are you have other unresolved losses that are being triggered. When you come to me, I will do an assessment, identify the unresolved losses and use Lifespan Integration or EMDR to help you get relief. On average my clients see me 10-12 sessions and are able to function again.