Grief and Loss Counseling in Montclair, CA.

A part of life we all face at some point is coping with grief or loss. Using tools to help you recover from the sadness or lonliness you may struggle with is helpful. In some cases people struggle with grief or loss from thier past that they may not have really dealt with. Using tools to deal with buried pain that surfaces and causes depression or anxiety helps you feel ready for the next pahse of your life!

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

Unfortunately, grief and loss are inevitable in life and sometimes we need guidance to process all that we’re feeling. My approach is to validate their loss and allow them to speak openly about it and then help them find healthy connections to their loved ones through memories. So much of the time when there is a loss, all people hear is “time heals all wounds.” That is rarely helpful in getting your life back on track because that implies you need to wait awhile before feeling better! Through our work, you will slowly learn to adjust to the new reality of your life without your loved one. This might require incorporating a new routine or even adopting a new sense of identity.

Our grief can benefit from having a safe, nonjudgmental space where we feel heard. This is especially important for teens and college students. Therapy goes at your pace, with your level of readiness for each step. Hope and healing are possible. There is meaning and purpose to be found in your pain. Though you will never forget your loved one, you can live in a way that honors them and their life's legacy.

Loss can be experienced in many different ways - death (expected or sudden), ending of a relationship, and/or life transitions. Well meaning friends and family can try to get us to "move past it" faster than we are ready to. These interactions can be hurtful and sometimes add to our pain. Working through issues of grief and loss can give you a safe place to express your feelings so that you can work through your disbelief, pain, and anger to a place of healing.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Nothing in life can be more difficult and painful than dealing with loss. When we love deeply we will also grieve deeply. When we don't know how to grieve well, prolong sadness and pain can remain. The therapeutic relationship is one place where a safe place can be found to open fully the pain of loss. I also offer divorce support and grief groups where a community of suffers can join in the journey of recovery.

People come and go in our lives and many times the emotions related to people leaving our lives is sometimes more than we can handle. The sadness and feelings of loss or separation is often disabling and we feel like we cannot move forward. Grief, loss and separation from someone can even be physically debilitating. Through grief and loss counseling, we will work with your emotional distress while we discover new paths to act in response to your emotional pain.

Gentleness and patience are the key words for those in the process of grief and loss. When working with those who have lost a loved one, whether that be a close family member or a beloved animal companion, gentleness, empathy, and patience are of utmost importance. When working with clients who are experiencing loss. I provide special space for silence. The profound experience of loss is unique to each individual and requires space for the pain of the loss to emerge and careful regard for the mulit-dimensional experience of the empty space left behind. We will honor the healing process while simultaneously creating opportunity for transition to hope in a new season of emergent life.

When someone is grieving, it is sometimes difficult to know what to say. People feel awkward and often are reduced to well-meaning platitudes. There is no magic wand to take away the feelings experienced in grief but having a place of safety and honesty can be an important step on the road to restoration. Being able to talk, weep, get angry and feel the feelings is often present in the early stages. The purpose of grief work is not about forgetting remembering with love in spite of the wounds it leaves behind.

Loss can take different forms, and going through loss is one of life's biggest challenges. I understand this and believe it is essential for those going through a loss to talk about it, feel it, and grieve it. In time, healing will occur but time itself does not heal. I will provide a safe place for you to explore how your loss affects your life and help you to use the resources, time, and tools necessary to not only get through it -- but grow through it -- and survive.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.