Grief and Loss Counseling in Watsonville, CA.

Grieving is a very personal experience and we all experience it differently and for different amounts of time. It helps to have someone you can share your experience of confusion, numbness, loss, relief or pain with who won't judge you, or tell you to "get over it." I work with people who are grieving the loss of a spouse, friend, or family member to death, Alzheimer's, chronic pain or addiction. The loss of a child who goes to college, the service, or moves out of the area is a grievous loss that almost no one understand who hasn't experienced it. I listen and we reflect on the times you have lost people and places that were precious to you, and you move towards acceptance, life and hope.

Grief can be experienced in many different ways and sometimes the loss felt so strongly that it is helpful to talk to a professional. I offer a safe and comforting space to listen and suggest ways to process and move through grief for adults, teens and children. Making meaning through means of ritual, journaling, art or simply making space are several approaches that I utilize to support my clients during times of loss.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

Losses from death, miscarriages & abortions, divorce, important relationships, jobs, friends, pets, integrity, independence, are all significant and important to process. Complicated grief requires skill and patience but is possible. Spirituality is an important component of grieving, finalizing and reconciling losses especially the most difficult ones.

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

Grief and Loss come in many forms and symptoms can sometimes mimic other issues like depression/anxiety. We can carry grief about many things; the relationships we desperately longed for with our parent, children, partners that never materialized, the betrayal of our bodies as we age or deal with disability, loss of a loved one, pet, or dream. Working through grief is its own very personal journey. My experience working with Bereaved families with Hospice and my own personal losses help inform my approach with clients to deal with their own grief and mourning.

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

The perception of grieving must be processed and understood before coping with loss can begin. There is individual timing in the grieving process, before the return to re-discovery. We are alive. What do we to do when we lose an attachment; positive or a negative one, who was part of our life? There are a number of emotions that emerge; confusion, sadness, guilt. Turn to your spiritual family and your friends. Take care of yourself. Continue to exercise; eat healthily; get plenty of sleep; work at letting go of feeling guilty. Verbally and emotionally express your loss. Say what you never got to say. Accept emotional support. Do not isolate

Loss is painful. Some losses hurt, but we're able to move past them. Some losses hit harder and we can get stuck in the sadness or anger or a sense of un-reality. We all experience loss during our lives, and all losses affect our sense of self to some degree. If you are struggling with grief that has knocked you off balance, together we can honor what you lost and discover ways for you to continue forward with a new reality.

I will have you write a truth letter conveying the unexpressed feelings to your loved one. The Truth LEtter will also be directed to yourself to identify what you think about the loss and the deceased. I also will encourage journaling and use the empty chair technique where you are speaking to the deceased as if s/he is in the room.

There are losses so large that ordinary words seem to fail them, and yet finding words is often exactly what helps us survive them. If you're carrying a grief that feels too heavy or too tangled to speak about, you don't have to carry it alone or explain it perfectly. In our sessions, you can bring whatever is there: the sorrow, the memories, the things you wish you'd said, the parts of the loss no one else seems to understand. I'll help you give them a voice and make sense of an experience that may feel senseless right now. I've worked with many grieving people, and I've witnessed even the heaviest of grief resolve. Whenever you're ready, call me so we can work through your pain together.

No grief has the same footprint and it is one of the most different emotional experiences to go through. Whether it is a loss of a loved one, a recent breakup, sudden job loss, divorce, a child going off to college, new health conditions or financial changes, I am here to support you as you walk through the experience, and to help you understand your loss, feel witnessed in the process and find new meaning in your experience.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.