Great Couples Counseling in Kemp Mill, MD. Therapy to heal relationships.

My "Treasure Therapy" helps couples to become aware of themselves and their partner and to appreciate our inherent worth. I use different lenses to analyze how our social identity and sense of worth is shaped by society. This is important for helping couples have a sense of mutuality. John Gottman, an expert in couples therapy, talks about how power differentials can actually impede trust in his book, The Science of Trust. My own PhD research looked at 91 couples and found 12 common factors that influenced the balance of power in heterosexual romantic relationships, summed up with the word "TREASURES" because it summarizes how we approach people as precious treasures.

We specialize in helping couples, using Emotionally Focused Therapy. This is a complex approach which helps couples (of all sorts) to understand the deep need for safety and connection we all have, innately. When we feel repeatedly disappointed in the connection, or a serious breach such as an affair occurs, people react with protective anger, protesting the loss. Unfortunately, that angry protest often drives the more reticent partner farther away, leaving the first one even more desperate. We help people see that the unhappy cycle they are caught in is responsible for their suffering. And then we help them to find and share their more vulnerable feelings, creating a positive and affirming cycle....

Intimate relationships have a unique ability to highlight areas we need improvement in. With that said, the challenges that intimate relationships pose also create the opportunity for each person in the relationship to grow in ways they otherwise would not have. In couples counseling with me, we will work to understand how the baggage each person brings into the relationship affects the relationship, as well as discover strategies to support each other in healing so that this relationship can help both individuals be the person they have potential to be.

Every relationship has its challenges. Sometimes it takes an outside person to help you and your partner work through these challenges in an empathic and objective way. I use techniques that have been proven to work. Together, we will create a trusting and safe environment where you and your partner can talk openly about the issues that divide you. I don’t take sides or place blame. Instead, I work to understand each of you as individuals and as a couple. Our work will focus on building better communication skills, having more positive experiences as a couple, and coping more effectively with challenges. Together, you and your partner can build a stronger relationship.

Many couples have difficulties communicating. There may have been an affair or there may be a loss of intimacy. I can teach you powerful ways to respectfully resolve issues, communicate and connect in a safe, nurturing way to restore caring and love. You can learn effective ways to bring healing and forgiveness back into your relationship. Since each couple is unique, I use a variety of approaches, such as, the 'Couples Dialogue' developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Emotionally Focused Therapy of Dr. Susan Johnson, research of Dr. John Gottman, among others. I also help premarital couples to avoid pitfalls in their relationship and prepare for a successful long-term relationship.

Committed and loving connections with a partner are probably the most challenging and potentially healing of all relationships in life. Deep fears of closeness tend to get in the way of realizing such potential, often without being consciously recognized as fears. I help partners in couples to find ways of being gentle and honest with each other and with themselves as they confront and overcome their fears.

Like all psychotherapy, couples therapy is a process, but one in which I work to help both members of a partnership to feel heard while also working for measurable change that couples can notice and know when they are making progress. I use attachment models to inform my work with couples–helping couples to develop a safer, more fulfilling and secure partnership. I focus on both present circumstances while also working to understand how problems develop and providing ways to prevent their reoccurrence. Some of the issues that couples often seek treatment for include the following: Communication Managing Difficult Life Transitions Separation/Divorce Loss/Grief Parenting Saving your Marriage Pre-Marital Counseling Managing Conflict

One of the most prevaling issues with one or both is to not feel "heard". Much emphasis has to be on the word "feelings". If one or the other has been abused in some way, they are very sensitive to "feelings". The word "being" is a key for stabilization of the relationship. I have done much research on the "Keys to Life" and one of the necessities is to trust. Listening and trusting are probably the glue that holds any relationship together and is foundational. A couple learning their primary function is not about themselves, but the common good of the family unit. After all, what will be your legacy? What will you be known for?

I offer couples therapy for partners who are looking make positive changes in their relationships, whether they are dating, engaged, married, or committed. I blend strategies and interventions from several couple therapy models to fit our conversations to your unique goals. By learning new skills, healing emotional injuries, experiencing each other's vulnerabilities in a safe way, and gaining insights about how each other's past influences their current behaviors, we work together to build a compassionate and joyful relationship.

Given the many challenges that can lead to divorce (money problems, adultery, differences in raising children, etc.) the wisest thing couples can do is to seek Christian counseling before they say "I do." No matter how solid a couple’s relationship may be, problems and differences will inescapably arise. Therefore, pre-marital counseling really operates as the best security system a couple could ever purchase. Our Christian counselors can be beneficial by familiarizing couples with targeted areas of conflict that often lead to divorce. These areas are: • Communication • In-Laws • Money/finances • Sexuality • Spiritual Intimacy • Roles (delegation of responsibilities)

I work with couples to help them create new and stronger avenues of communication--allowing them to find, once again, the joy each partner had in the other. Whether work has stressed your relationship, or children have created the gap, we can reimagine ways to find closer connections. Perhaps you feel as if you're roommates more than a couple. Or one of you has been tempted to stray--or has strayed--but you want to do the work to come back together. Therapy helps you find the new ways you need to communicate, leading to a stronger bond between you.

Working with couples is a dynamic process that requires the therapist to maintain a safe space where both people can feel heard and understood. I am a certified Imago therapist and use a dialogical process to increase the emotional intimacy between the two people. I have worked with straight, bi, gay and lesbian and transgendered couples, and many different ethnic groups---and find that the challenges are essentially the same---to create a bond of trust that allows for all parts of the two people to show up and be accepted in the relationship. I share helpful handouts that people can use when they are home, to be able to deal with conflict more skillfully.

I provide couples counseling (including marriage counseling) to helping you explore current challenges in your relationship. Are you suffering in your relationship due to consistent conflict, an inability to effectively communicate, lack of intimacy, separation, and simply growing apart? Do you want to find more effective ways to relate to one another and acquire a new sense of intimacy and closeness? Consider couple's counseling to acquire a new awareness of how you can become more effective in your relationship. Give counseling a try; you are deserving of this. Give me a call for a free phone consult to discuss your concerns. 240.292.6127. Make it a good day - - be well. Laurieann