Grief and Loss Counseling in Four Corners, MD.

Loss is a very real experience in every life. You may be facing the loss of a job, a financial downturn, the break-up of a relationship, an illness or even the death of a loved one. In therapy, I can help you through this loss and share in your grieving process. I believe that learning to grieve well our losses is an essential part of life and growth. Grieving in the presence of a caring person can be very healing.

Everyone faces grief and loss, whether it’s over a romantic relationship or a job ending, a physical health problem, or the death of a loved one. We offer support to face grief, understand it, follow the innate mourning process, and integrate the change into life and your sense of self. We offer a safe place to explore the range of emotions which accompany loss, which really matters when friends and family don’t know how to stay with and witness the pain and sorrow. Grieving has its own demands and pace, and we will stay with you through it.

Grief and loss are a natural and unavoidable part of life, whether it is a sudden loss, like the loss of a loved one to death, or a more gradual loss, like the loss of physical vitality with illness or aging. When a very large loss overwhelms us and makes life seem painful and perhaps meaningless, it is time to get help to put that loss in perspective. I help people to work their way through loss and find ways to make it part of the larger mosaic of their life, helping them reduce the overwhelming pain and helping them find hope and meaning again.

Our society doesn't always do such a great job understanding grief and loss...well-meaning friends and family just want you to "move on" and "be okay". When I work with clients around grief and loss, I try to educate them on the wave-like quality of grief; that it comes in waves, and ebbs and flows. Just because it comes back occasionally doesn't mean you're not healing - it takes time, patience and understanding, but you can heal.

Experiencing loss is part of every life and learning to grieve our losses effectively is a necessary pathway to growth. Whether it is the death of a loved one, sickness, aging, financial setback or simply the loss of a dream, no one is untouched by the pain of life turning out differently than expected. My approach in therapy is to provide a safe and compassionate place for you to journey through the stages of grief resulting in new hope for the future. I believe that accepting our losses and learning to grieve well is a powerful tool for emotional and spiritual growth.

Loss is inevitable. It is the flip side of love and the greatest pain we know. Hearts can break and hearts can heal. We must first accept ALL feelings. We can cultivate gratitude for the gifts our loved one gave us. Sometimes it is also important to acknowledge and learn from the mistakes of the one we have lost., the ways they may have caused pain to themselves and others. If the person has been a large part of our daily living, it is as if we need to recreate our lives bringing new resources into the emptiness. The waves of extreme pain become less frequent with time. The person's memory remains with us, and their gifts to us can inspire those very strengths in ourselves.

Each loss is unique and so is the treatment. You may need a witness to tell your story in a safe, respectful place or find strategies to deal with unresolved issues with an important person you lost or a job. I can help you through this by using different strategies, such as, writing unsent letters to the person you lost, visualizing ways of moving on while establishing rituals to maintain good memories, connecting with support groups as needed,etc.

Loss of a loved one can impact us in so many ways . Often without talking to someone we struggle on our own to process and understand feelings pertaining to loss. With the help of counselor we can be able to communicate and process feelings of sadness and some anger that we experience after we have lost a loved one. Similar feelings can surface after a divorce, separation or job loss. By talking to someone about our loss we are able to process and understand that we are not alone. We can learn that loss/grief are a normal part of life and much can learned from how to go through the journey of life after loss.

The pain of loss can be intense and all-consuming. Sorrow isolates you from others, even from those close to you who are likely also struggling through similar pain. Activities you once found meaningful, probably seem like a distant memory. The grief can make you feel lost and out-of-control. The goal of therapy for grief is to help you rebuild the ability to connect with others, restore purpose, and experience joy, while you transform the pain of loss into treasured memories.

Grief and loss can require therapy because they frequently involve trauma--death, divorce, moves, job losses. They lead to a feeling of loss-of-control in many areas of life, even when the control you had is actually still there. In therapy, we work through the loss and accompanying grief, and find ways to express your feelings while still recognizing the trauma--and the reasons for the loss. We create coping mechanisms and turn negative ideas into positive ones.

Some individuals enter psychotherapy without serious mental health symptoms but are managing a difficult life transition like a divorce, family changes, death/bereavement, moving, processing identity changes, adoption, job changes and medical issues. These individuals are often looking for a place to process this transition and to gain support for the life change. Psychotherapy is not only for a psychiatric diagnosis, like depression or anxiety, some enter therapy to process transitions so that they may better manage their life and achieve their goals. Some people dread the life transition they are facing or fear change; therapy helps these people to feel enriched by the life event and/or develop an enhanced sense of meaning or purpose as a result....(view profile to read more)

I have guided many people going through the loss of a family member or friend. I am currently working with a client who lost his mother. He has begun to feel better and remember his mother in ways that are deeply meaningful to him. I have also experienced losses which gives me a greater understanding of what you may need to express your feelings and continue to live a full life.

To help a client cope through grief and loss, I sometimes use the example of how an oyster forms a pearl. The oyster ingests a grain of sand that causes pain, and which cannot be removed or dissolved (just like we cannot eliminate the pain of missing a loved one). So the oyster begins to encase the grain of sand with layers of calcium-like substance, that makes the grain of sand easier to carry and hold, without the rough edges. Coping through grief and loss can involve learning how to unpack, experience, and adjust how we carry the pain. Therapy can help you soften and encase the pain of loss, forming a "pearl" around it that is easier to carry with you, and perhaps make it more precious.