Great Couples Counseling in South Hackensack, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

People can grow apart for many reasons. Sometimes life has become complicated, and you’ve lost sight of each other’s needs. Sometimes there is a breach and a loss of trust and you are not sure how to repair it, or if you even want to. One thing is certain: if two people are willing to work on repairing a marriage that has lost its way, for whatever reason, their relationship already has a foundation to build on. With time and proper counseling, the marriage can often be repaired. I work with committed couples, whether married or not, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, to help both parties clarify what attracted them in the first place, what is not working anymore, and why. Then we work on active listening and clear, simple communication....(view profile to read more)

I use my vast experience to help couples in their early 20s to late 70s, of all genders and sexual orientations to understand each other and communicate effectively. Whether the conflicts are emotional, sexual, or financial, I am there for you to help you navigate the waters, leading to a satisfying relationship. Couples counseling and premarital counseling can empower you to bring more joy into your life and can help prevent the heartache and the tremendous cost of divorce.

Each couple is unhappy in its own way, but the core of the unhappiness is always miscommunication. Generally each member of a couple brings bad communication habits to the relationship and these habits clash. I use an eclectic approach to couples therapy that combines the latest research, utilizing psychoanalysis, role playing, role reversal, video and practice in constructive communication skills. In time, couples learn to communicate in a way that leads to resolution, not conflict.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life. Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life.

Dr. Joel Stukalin and Dr. Sara Mandelbaum are particularly sensitive to the needs of unmarried couples, such as conflicts regarding trust, fidelity, emotional-bonding, finances, future-planning, resistance to committment. We have specialized in couples work for 40 years and have been highly praised by clients as attuned psychologists who truly understand the problems and frustrations of couples living together. As child psychologists, we additionally help couples negotiate important issues with child-care concerns. Dr. Joel and Dr. Sara offer realistic models to improve empathic-communication and problem-resolution with minimum disruption. Meaningful change can start within 4 sessions.

I usually see each person separately for a while to determine what the dynamics are and what each person brings to the relationship that is their own issues that need resolution.I will then see them together and achieve better results.My style of working with couples has been effective if both are ready to look at their issues and improve communication.

My approach to couples therapy focuses on helping partners rebuild trust, improve communication, and develop a deeper understanding of one another, particularly when addiction or compulsive behaviors have impacted the relationship. I bring specialized insight into how substance use and behavioral addictions affect both individuals and the partnership as a whole. I use evidence-based approaches to help couples identify patterns of conflict, strengthen accountability, and establish healthier ways of relating. Clients benefit from a structured, nonjudgmental space where both partners feel heard, learn practical tools for connection, and work toward restoring stability, intimacy, and respect.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I have extensive training and experience helping couples navigate some of the most painful and difficult chapters of their relationships. My approach is both compassionate and practical, shaped by years of walking with couples across the country as they work through challenges of trust, intimacy, and communication. I have also been featured in leading outlets such as Forbes, The Knot, Women’s Health, Yahoo, Self, Glamour, and AARP for my insights on relationships, intimacy, and communication. Whether you are facing ongoing conflict, a loss of closeness, or the aftermath of betrayal, I would be honored to meet with you and your partner.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php