Family Counseling Services in Bergenfield, NJ.

ADULTS . IN-LAW ISSUES. BLENDED FAMILIES. EXTENDED FAMILY When family relationships fracture — whether between siblings, parents and grown children, or in-laws drawn into a couple's orbit — the pain runs deep. I help adult family members address long-standing resentments, miscommunications, and shifting roles that create distance. Sessions focus on uncovering what each person actually needs from the other and developing practical ways to relate without repeating old wounds. Families regain function when members stop reacting to history and start responding to the present. Connection between relatives can be restored when honesty replaces

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. There was trust and you enjoyed each other's company. Now it feels like there is an invisible wall separating you. Hal's soothing wisdom offers you the opportunity to learn the vital building blocks leading to a trusting and loving relationship. Hal is an experienced and highly regarded couples counselor. He is also a published author and was invited to appear as a special guest on David Lettermans Late Night television program on 2 separate occasions. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available days, evenings and Sundays. Since 1975.

My approach to family therapy is to look for the source of the family conflict. After over 37 years of practice, I can usually zero in on what is going on. Sometimes one parent is out of control. Sometimes parents are in conflict over child-rearing practices; one is too permissive and one too strict. Sometimes one child is favored over another. I generally meet with the whole family over a period of time, encouraging honest and constructive communication. Through patient guidance, the problems surface and are worked out.

Originally trained as a family therapist at the Family Institute of Cambridge, Mass., I have evolved as an experienced family therapist. I believe that family therapy is generally the treatment of choice in resolving issues and preventing the problem from going to the next generation. It is useful to see an entire family but can also be beneficial if parts of a family will work together to overcome communication problems, resentments, and misunderstandings that can tear families apart. Family therapy is very helpful to resolving conflicts of adult children after a parent has died. It can also be useful with young children, siblings, as well as teenagers, middle-aged people and older adults.

We come from a systems approach when working with families. We teach family members how to communicate more effectively with one another. There is an emphasis on personal responsibility and each family member looking at how their behavior is contributing to the problems. Building empathy between family members is also a main focus for us when working with families. We strive for families to leave sessions feeling more connected and understood by each other with the tools to be more successful in their communications. We do family therapy both in the office and in homes.

Helping couples and families with relationship issues, parenting, step and blended family issues. Also helping family going through loss, divorce, illness and coping with difficult and painful issues related to a child or other family member. Also help to strengthen family and couple communication with spouse, children, in-laws and other family members.

Distressed family members too often exclusively focus their efforts on changing their difficult sibling, parent, grandparent or in-law. This is ineffective. Difficult family members often resist such efforts. I teach each family member how to first work on changing their own self-defeating emotional and behavioral reactions in response to their difficult family members. Once someone calms down and not gets so upset about the other people in their family they can influence other people to find better ways to live with or at least gracefully tolerate each other. I show each family member how to work on themselves in order to have a better chance of influencing others. Think about this.

Family dynamics are complicated, & when things break down it affects everyone, not just the people in the middle of the conflict. I work with families using Structural Family Therapy, Emotionally Focused Family Therapy, & Cognitive Behavioral Family Therapy to help identify what's really driving the tension, improve how you communicate, & build healthier patterns that actually stick. That means looking at roles, boundaries, thought patterns, & emotional bonds that hold your family together or pull it apart. Every member's perspective matters here. The goal isn't to assign blame or pick sides. It's to help your family function in a way that supports everyone in it, individually and together.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Families who come to Emerge redefine their goals individually and as a family unit. They gain an understanding of where their feelings and behaviors stem from and what they need to change. Within a matter of months families begin to see the growth and change that once was stagnant because they have now learned to communicate with one another through effective listening and reflective responding.

Family therapy is often times a necessary extention to individual therapy. Families are supposed to work as a system. Sometimes the system breaks down and one member may be viewed as the broken piece. Until the system comes together to work through what is really happening the problem often persists. In therapy together we can look at your system as a whole. Let's open lines of communication between family members, improve your relationships and begin enjoying your lives together again.

Individuals can learn about how their family dynamics impacted life experiences and shaped thoughts and belief systems. Clients can begin healing from emotionally immature parents and learn emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to navigate emotional experiences and relationship. Clients can recognize patterns within relationships and learn how to cultivate healthier relationships.

During Family Therapy we deal with: patterns of communication (the way people in the family talk to each other); anger (how that sabotages the family); correcting dysfunctional patters, and negotiation (how to work out things so that everybody feels O.K. about the solutions). During family counseling families learn how to deal with crisis as well conflict management techniques. Also included are effective parenting skills for both children as well as teenagers. Therapy needs to have practical strategies and to be as short term as possible.