Family Counseling Services in Woodbridge, NJ.

We have our closest, longest-lasting, and most complicated relationships with family. When there is divorce, remarriage, addiction, mental illness or other dysfunction it can become even more complicated. With my Family Systems perspective I can help you understand how your family helped to form the person that you are, and help you untangle yourself from the dysfunction and heal the relationships that are important to you.

It is always important to work with families when working with children. Through the use of family therapy, communication between family members is enhanced and conflicts are better resolved. Family therapy can be useful in any family situation that causes stress, grief, anger or conflict. It can help you and your family members understand one another better and bring you closer together.

I always include parent(s) in all sessions so they can learn how to bring out the best in their children. I reach, teach, educate and motivate children to value and respect their parents. When children show gratitude not attitude it is much easier for parents to praise and show love rather than yelling, punishing, and restricting their children. The resulting harmonious relations improve the atmosphere of the entire household and the benefits extend to siblings.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

During Family Therapy we deal with: patterns of communication (the way people in the family talk to each other); anger (how that sabotages the family); correcting dysfunctional patters, and negotiation (how to work out things so that everybody feels O.K. about the solutions). During family counseling families learn how to deal with crisis as well conflict management techniques. Also included are effective parenting skills for both children as well as teenagers. Therapy needs to have practical strategies and to be as short term as possible.

Family can be a wonderful source of strength and love, but the dynamism of so many individuals and their own needs and desires can also create different and new challenges. My goal as a therapist that works with both individuals and couples is to help you understand your family dynamics and needs so that I can provide you with the tools and techniques to thrive within your family life as it is now.

Individuals can learn about how their family dynamics impacted life experiences and shaped thoughts and belief systems. Clients can begin healing from emotionally immature parents and learn emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to navigate emotional experiences and relationship. Clients can recognize patterns within relationships and learn how to cultivate healthier relationships.

Distressed family members too often exclusively focus their efforts on changing their difficult sibling, parent, grandparent or in-law. This is ineffective. Difficult family members often resist such efforts. I teach each family member how to first work on changing their own self-defeating emotional and behavioral reactions in response to their difficult family members. Once someone calms down and not gets so upset about the other people in their family they can influence other people to find better ways to live with or at least gracefully tolerate each other. I show each family member how to work on themselves in order to have a better chance of influencing others. Think about this.

Kids live in the context of their families, and I believe that when you work with kids, the family should be included because this is the best way to create change. As parents, you are the most important people in your children's lives, and I want to strengthen your connections with them. It is important to look at the cycles that families get into, and also to understand what prevents communication between kids and their parents. The therapy is tailored to the needs of your family, so who is present in each session may vary. I want to support individuals as well as restore and improve the connection between parents and their children. This also applies to adult children and their parents.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation were given; family therapy fills in the blanks.

I teach family members a skill called the Intentional Dialogue to help improve family communication. Often family members don't feel heard, that what they say matters, understood and that others know what they are feeling. The Intentional Dialogue allows each family member to share their 'side of the story' in a safe environment without fearing being judged or criticized. When this happens family members start to work as a team rather than be adversarial.

Nearly all families deal with some sort of stress or conflict at one point or another. In the middle of what can seem like the most difficult time for your family, actually lies opportunity. Through therapy, I can help family members begin to understand one another better, improve their communication, and resolve conflicts, leading to healthier and more secure relationships. Your family is the most powerful resource. Let’s strengthen it together.

Family therapy will include working together to help improve communication, handle difficult conversations, making changes in dynamics, discuss life transitions that can impact others. Utilizing a Family Systems approach will take place in sessions. Formulating individual and family goals will be explored and a plan of action will take place with concrete goals.