Anger Management and Counseling in North Hempstead, NY.

Sometimes anger is a response to feeling misunderstood: you cannot believe that the other person does not see what is evident to you. At other times, anger is an expression of frustration because you cannot attain a goal or you are prevented (by others or by life situations) from reaching a desired landmark in your life. As a therapist, I will help you understand what is fueling your anger, and once you get a better sense of this, you will be able use emotional energy to deal with the underlying personal frustration instead of wasting it in staying angry.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

Anger tends to get labelled negatively in our culture, often being described as a "negative emotion", or seen as something dangerous or to be denied. Yet the truth is, like all emotions, anger plays a vital role in our psychological system. It serves as a warning that something important to us feels threatened. It can motivate us to take action to correct something negative that is happening. Prevalent negative attitudes about anger contribute to many people getting insufficient practice in identifying and communicating about anger effectively. At my Pleasantville office I provide individual, family and couples counseling for issues related to anger management in adults and children.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but your words will break my heart." Anger Management is a powerful source of self-knowledge that develops skills that are useful throughout life. Anger Management does not eliminate anger; it empowers us to recognize surges of anger quickly enough to make a behavioral ‘U turn’ rather than saying or doing something we will regret. Instead of automatically reacting we redirect our attention inward to identify what has aroused the feelings of anger and how to deal with them appropriately. Over time the people close to us come to recall our previous anger as a dim and distant memory.

We all get angry at times in our life, and there are times when anger is a useful signal that tells us something needs to change or that something is wrong. But there are also times where anger can begin to dominate our thoughts and actions, causing problems at work and in our relationships. My goal as a therapist is to help you talk though your concerns and issues so that I can give you the tools to help you overcome sources of non-productive anger. When you're tired of being angry and ready to move on, let's talk.

Do you find you have difficulty managing outbursts of anger? Or are you more prone to bottling your anger and sitting on it for hours or weeks on end allowing it to fester? Both of these are common responses to anger, and neither are beneficial. Anger management therapy can benefit you by helping you to learn that you can control the way in which you respond to your anger. Through exploring the underlying reasons for your anger you will gain useful knowledge to help you recognize your triggers. Furthermore, through mindfulness and cognitive behavioral approaches you will learn to channel your anger in a more productive way.

In my approach to anger management counseling, I help clients gain insight into the underlying causes of their anger and teach practical strategies for managing intense emotions. Through a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR, and emotional regulation techniques, I assist clients in identifying triggers, shifting negative thought patterns, and developing healthier ways to express frustration. My goal is to provide a supportive environment where clients can enhance self-control, improve communication, and cultivate more peaceful, constructive relationships.

The benefit of my approach is that instead of getting angry you will learn how to think and react creatively so you are better able to find a way to prevail in the long run. People and life will sometimes do you in and obstruct you. However, you are rarely at your best when angry. It is your beliefs that lead to your self-defeating feelings of anger. I show how an angry response leads you to have far less leverage than if you felt healthy negative feelings like great annoyance, frustration, displeasure and disappointment. I teach you how to think about injustice, interference, and insult so that you stay in control of your reactions in order to creatively respond and ultimately prevail!

I help clients become more conscious and less reactive in their interactions. I teach clients specific strategies to break destructive patterns of relating and give them tools to communicate effectively. I also teach clients how to self-soothe. Within the safety of the therapeutic relationship, clients will explore the root of their anger and underlying emotions that are being expressed as anger or rage.