Grief and Loss Counseling in Plandome, NY.

When I very young I lost my fiancée. I went about life as if nothing had happened until it caught up to me. I was trying to open a door with a key and it wouldn't work. I found myself crying and felt out of control. This happened because I didn't want to grieve. What I learned is you can't skip this process. It will catch up to you at the strangest times. I can walk you through this without bottoming out. Ignoring it and avoiding it doesn't work

I teach my clients about the stages of grief. This often which helps to normalize what they are experiencing. It can be so overwhelming and isolating to lose someone you love. I give clients a safe place to explore all of their emotions around their loss. I work to help clients feeling grounded again and take the steps necessary to find a new normal.

Grief is about loss and the threat of loss. The stronger the bond between us and the person we have lost, the more we will hurt both physically and emotionally. When we are torn from a family member or friend, a part of us dies as well. Our natural need for attachment gets severed, often bringing the return of childhood fears. The world feels like a more dangerous place. As a result, we may feel out of control. We ache to have the loved person back. We know in the rational part of our minds that the person is not coming back, but it also seems impossible to let him go. We will remain emotionally conflicted until we can release our loved ones. Because letting go is so difficult, we must do it slow....

People experiencing grief and loss are often invaded by mixed emotions and thoughts, including sadness, guilt, anger, feeling frozen or ambivalent, to mention some. Difficult but essential, is to make sense of the situation and find hope. I help clients understand that what has happened might not be altered, but that they can use their own powers and that of their support systems to master the present moment.

Everyone grieves differently which means that coping with loss looks differently and varies from person to person. At Transformation Counseling Services our therapists are specially trained to help you move through the stages of grief and work through your loss. If you are experiencing grief related symptoms we are here to help. Please contact us for a free consultation.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

The benefit of my approach for someone who is grieving and who has suffered a great loss is that I actively teach you how to accept things that cannot be changed. Only by achieving real acceptance can the individual carry on in life despite the loss. Acceptance in REBT does not mean liking or even denying the loss. Acceptance in REBT means to acknowledge that a great loss has occurred and to feel healthy negative feelings of sadness, even great sadness. The benefit that results is that one can still have some degree of enjoyment in life. One can function without guilt and do well in life despite having suffered a great loss. This is leverage over the loss, the thing that cannot be changed.

Grief and loss are the tragic feelings in life that can come on suddenly - from a shocking loss, or be long term, from a loss that occurred in the past or one that is ongoing. We never know how to handle the all-encompassing feelings experienced at this time, and we never think it will end. I will help guide you through these terrible times you might be experiencing by allowing you to fully express your feelings when you need to. At other times you may need guidance on how to just get through the day. As with all my clients, you will show me what you need at each moment, and I will do my best to get you through the pain of grief and loss.

Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and it doesn't always look like sadness. It can show up as anger, numbness, guilt, or even relief, and any of it is valid. Losing someone or something significant can shake your entire sense of self and purpose. I work with grieving clients using a combination of CBT, EMDR, and somatic approaches to help you process what you're carrying, at whatever pace feels right. We'll work through the hard emotions, find ways to honor what you've lost, and rebuild a sense of meaning. Healing from grief isn't about moving on. It's about learning to carry it differently.

Grief in and of itself is not a diagnosis. However, many people find themselves seeking out professional help following the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of financial means. In grief and loss therapy you will benefit from a compassionate and warm environment where you can explore your grief with out judgement or fear. Grief is often isolating in our sessions not only will you be given the space to process and remember your loss, but also the tools and guidance necessary to eventually continue a fulfilling life.

Loss in the face of betrayal is both unique and universal. If you've been betrayed by someone's sexual addiction, you may feel like life has up-ended. Although your story is unique, there are universal qualities to betrayal trauma. Rage, shock, fear, unsafety, and mistrust are some of the common feelings betrayed partners experience. You may feel dysregulated and find it difficult to function. This is a normal response to betrayal trauma. Together, we will work to help you learn about sexual addiction and why it is not your fault! I will help you grieve the safety you thought you had and we will work to help you restore a sense of safety in your life and nervous system.

The way that a person has learned to protect themself self from a traumatic event develops into a part of their character in adult life. Our clinicians are trained to help you understand all of your parts and show you that the scary experience is over. We help you truly feel that you got through it and you can protect yourself if you need to! With this approach, we invite the wise parts of you to care deeply for the parts of you who are hurting. You have the power to regain control over your life, move forward, and heal.

Dr. Joel Stukalin and Dr. Sara Mandelbaum have guided many clients like you through their grieving processes. Since each client is special and unique, we work with the utmost sensitivity to help you during this emotional period so often filled with many memories and feelings. Some clients also experience unfinished emotional business with the deceased, which we work through with substantial empathic understanding and patience. This sensitive collaboration with Dr. Joel and Dr. Sara is invaluable in supporting grieving clients to achieve a sense of therapeutic closure and relief. Clients have stated that doing this necessary grief work with Dr. Joel and Dr. Sara has restored their lives.